Florida Divorce * Child Custody * Domestic Violence Law Lawyer | Boca Raton

Husband and Wife are married for sixteen years.

During the marriage, Husband has a vasectomy.

Several years later in 1992, Wife gives birth to another child, Daughter.

Husband treats Daughter as his own child in every way.

During the divorce, Husband enters a settlement agreement with Wife on custody and child support for Daughter.

When Daughter is in her teens, the local child support agency (Agency) petitions to modify Husband’s child support, to increase it.

At that time in 2005, for the first time, Husband denies paternity of Daughter … when Daughter is approximately thirteen years of age.

At trial, the court orders a paternity test. As expected, the result disproves Husband’s biological relationship to Daughter.

Child support is terminated and the Agency appeals.

Maryland’s highest court reverses, holding that the trial court should not have ordered the paternity test. The opinion appears to be based primarily on the appellate court’s view of the best interests of Daughter.

A stronger rationale might have been grounded in Husband’s unreasonable delay in asserting his change of position.

Despite changes in the law in many states now making it easier for a man to challenge paternity and avoid a child support obligation, this child support case would have come out the same way in Florida today.

In Florida as in Maryland, a de facto father does not have a legal right to change his mind about taking on the role of father at any old time he pleases, at his whim. Any paternity challenge must be fairly timely to stand a chance of succeeding at avoiding a child support obligation.

Read more in this Maryland Daily Record article: Court: judge erred in allowing paternity contest after 13 years.

New York Mother of three suffers from depression.

Baby is hospitalized for “failure to thrive”.

Children, including Baby, are removed from Mother’s care.

Court orders that Baby’s Uncle be investigated for possible placement of Baby with him.

In Court several days later, the Child Welfare Agency clears the Uncle but cannot produce the court-ordered written report.

Court investigates Uncle and approves him as well.

Baby’s Guardian ad Litem approves placement with Uncle.

Parties reach agreement on placement of Baby with Uncle.

Court orders liberal visitation by Mother, supervised by Uncle.

Family Court orders that Baby be placed into the custody of Uncle.

Child Welfare Agency delays actual placement with Uncle for nine days, for reasons that are not clear – if any.

Baby and Mother (and Baby’s siblings) are thereby deprived of substantial (six hours) daily timesharing and bonding.

Court holds Child Welfare Agency in contempt for its delay in placing Baby with Uncle … and fines Child Welfare Agency $2,500 plus costs. And awards Mother damages.

Read more in this West Palm Beach Examiner article: Judge finds NYC Administration for Children Services in contempt for not placing child with uncle.

I’ve previously posted, more than once, about mediation, a very common route to a Florida uncontested divorce, and collaborative law, a trendy, generally higher-end path to a Florida uncontested divorce.

A California attorney attaches yet another label to yet another path to an uncontested divorce: the cooperative divorce law approach.

What’s that?

Cooperative divorce is a variation of collaborative divorce. Collaborative divorce typically involves a sizable team of professionals.

This can add substantially to the cost of a Florida uncontested divorce … and in many cases is professional overkill.

Cooperative divorce seems to be a more cost-effective and practical alternative.

For one thing, the nonlawyer professionals (accountants / financial planners, mental health professionals, etc.) are not brought on to the team unless and until they are demonstrated to be needed. In many cases, all of them or some of them may not be.

Also, if, despite the best of intentions on both sides, it turns out that all or some of the issues in the case cannot be resolved amicably, the original lawyers may continue to represent both spouses in litigation. In the collaborative approach, if the case doesn’t settle, both parties must start over with new lawyers. That results in substantial additional expense and slows the process down.

Read more in this San Diego News Network Family Law blog post: The Most Basic of Family Court Proceedings–Divorce.

Victims of domestic violence in California are finding it less hospitable than ever to live there.

Faced with severe budget deficits, the governor virtually eliminated the budget previously allocated to services to victims of domestic violence.

The magnitude of the cutbacks far outstrips other struggling states.

Now shelters are feeling the same level of desperation as their charges.

Some have closed. Some of reduced staff. Some have scaled back their facilities. Some have scaled back their operations.

The result: victims fleeing domestic violence, often mothers with children in tow, are being turned away.

The situation is especially bleak in rural communities.

This is an especially bitter pill for victims of domestic violence to swallow in the midst of this recession.

High unemployment, many foreclosures, tight credit, fuel high tensions which tend to trigger domestic violence incidents.

Some federal aid, combined with private donations, is helping to keep some services going that would otherwise have been shut down.

But advocates for domestic violence victims, and victims themselves, worry for how long.

Read more in this New York Times article: Cuts Ravage California Domestic Abuse Program.

Newly released US Census statistics also reveal that three of the ten US counties where divorced residents are found in greatest numbers are right here in Florida.

Those three Florida counties with the most divorced folks are

1. Monroe, home of the (in)famous Keys, to our South

2. Pinellas, home of Tampa / St. Pete, on the West Coast of the state and

3. Putnam County, a rural county in the northern part of the state

Eighteen percent of the residents in the Keys are divorced, making this the US county with the second largest population of divorced people.

By contrast, across the nation, less than eleven percent of US residents are divorced.

Which state has the highest rate of divorce per person? Oklahoma, which is the state with the largest number of people who have been married at least three times.

Read more in this Associated Press article delivered via Yahoo News: Divorce in America: Ind., Fla. counties are tops.

Newly released US Census statistics reveal the prevalence of divorce in each state’s population.

Some of the statistics are somewhat surprising.

For example, New York and New Jersey have two of the three lowest rates of divorce.

Not surprisingly, Nevada leads the nation in divorced folks by a wide margin.

But who would have guessed that Maine has the next highest rate of divorce?

Or that California would have only a moderate rate of divorce?

The statistics are actually quite interesting.

Read more in this Associated Press article delivered via Yahoo News:State-by-state divorce rates.

New Hampshire Girlfriend and Boyfriend are at home, apparently having a disagreement about something.

Girlfriend allegedly pursues Boyfriend around the kitchen, brandishing a knife.

Boyfriend calls the police for assistance.

Police arrive.

Girlfriend allegedly pushes and strikes one or more police officers with her hand and with glass.

Girlfriend allegedly bites a police officer on the arm.

Police make to arrest Girlfriend.

At which point Boyfriend reportedly changes sides and seeks to protect Girlfriend. (Not unusual in domestic violence incidents.)

Boyfriend is arrested on charges of resisting arrest.

Girlfriend is arrested on multiple counts, including assaulting a police officer, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct.

Boyfriend is not confined.

Girlfriend is out on bail.

A no-contact order, a criminal law variant of an order of protection, is entered to protect Boyfriend from Girlfriend.

Read more in this New Hampshire Union Leader article: Woman will be tested for diseases after charge of biting a police officer.

For divorcing couples who are overburdened with debt incurred during the marriage, the possibility of a bankruptcy filing by one spouse hangs over the other like a dark cloud.

Each divorcing spouse may have a different income, credit standing, attitude toward repayment of debts and bankruptcy, degree of appeal to a creditor seeking to collect on a debt, etc.

These differences can generate substantial tension and conflict during divorce. And fighting over them can prolong and drive up the cost of the divorce.

And in some cases, despite the best of intentions, how things will turn out is all but a foregone conclusion.

It may be prudent for each spouse to consult with a bankruptcy attorney before filing for divorce. Like it or not, it may well simplify the divorce to dispose of the debt through bankruptcy first.

Among other changes made in the new bankruptcy code, it is significantly harder for a spouse to evade their legal obligations to their spouse under a settlement agreement in family court through a bankruptcy filing.

But, as under the old bankruptcy code, creditors can still target either spouse who signed for the debt.

In cases where bankruptcy is a real possibility, the marital settlement agreement should make special provisions to protect a spouse from a bankruptcy filing by the other.

Read more in this California-issued press release: The Intersection of Divorce and Bankruptcy.

Chinese Husband and Wife meet online in November 2008.

Husband and Wife marry in April 2009.

But a month later, they are fighting. Over nothing. Frequently.

Husband and Wife separate in August, with a six month re-evaluation plan.

Already they miss each other. And plan to give it another shot after the six months elapses.

Sounds like the perfect time for them to work on a postnuptial agreement or marital property settlement agreement … just in case.

Read more in this Sindh [Pakistan] Today article: Chinese couple married for 3 months sign 6-month trial separation agreement!.

Many people are baffled by the divorce process. At their initial consultation, some people question – and even obsess – over the sequence and timeline of the legal steps in the Florida divorce process.

But the truth is, there’s more than one possible sequence of legal events on the road to a Florida divorce, even a Florida uncontested divorce. For example, a settlement may be reached at any point in time before a final judgment is rendered after a divorce trial. And a settlement is what converts a divorce into an uncontested divorce.

Of course, if settlement is in the cards, settling very late in the process is not optimal for the spouses. They would save considerable money and upset if they reached their settlement much earlier in the divorce process.

How early?

It always surprises people to learn that there is absolutely no reason why spouses can’t reach a settlement before they even officially start their formal Florida divorce case. That is one of the hallmarks of one approach to a Florida uncontested divorce, called collaborative divorce.

The Achilles’ heel of the trendy collaborative divorce approach, however, is that both parties must be in synch with one another in agreeing on having a divorce, being ready to sit down at a negotiating table and being committed to settling before a divorce case is filed.

Unfortunately, both spouses aren’t always able to get on the same page in those respects that soon. Some parties need to be served – and sometimes even to experience a certain amount of litigation – before they are ready to accept the fact of the divorce, let alone deal with what must be dealt with.

But until a divorce case is filed, one spouse cannot force the other spouse to sit down at the negotiating table. It can be a long wait until the other spouse sees the light.

Every couple is unique and therefore every divorce is unique. Rigid approaches, strict methodologies and trendy labels don’t necessarily fit.

If and when both spouses become receptive and ready for it, any divorce can become a Florida uncontested divorce. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be a costly or bitter process.

Nor do collaborative divorce evangelists have a monopoly on pursuing settlement prior to filing. And non-collaborative Florida uncontested divorces can save spouses as much – if not more – money than Florida collaborative divorces.

It is important to understand the dynamics of your divorce before adopting any particular approach to divorce.

Read more in this FOX TV 5 news article: Collaborative Divorce Can Save Money.

Who has a domestic violence restraining order entered against them?

Who violates an order of protection that has been entered against them?

Not just the stereotypical abusers that many people may think of. In fact, it could be anyone.

Take, for example, the principal of a high school in Illinois (Principal), a seemingly unlikely subject of an injunction for protection against domestic violence.

A domestic violence restraining order was nonetheless entered against Principal to protect his ex-wife.

The order of protection prohibited Principal from approaching her home, drinking or frequenting bars.

Just a couple of months after its entry, Principal pleaded guilty to violating the domestic violence restraining order in the vicinity of his former wife’s home.

Principal spent thirty-four days in confinement, and was sentenced to two years’ probation.

Principal resigned from his job after his arrest.

Read more in this [central Illinois] Pantagraph article: Ex-Pontiac high school official gets probation.

Parent obligated to pay (Obligated Parent) loses their job. Maybe they find another job … but it pays less. Maybe they don’t.

Obligated Parent falls behind on child support. Further and further behind.

Obligated Parent just lets time go by and their obligations mount. They’re looking for a job, or a better one.

Perhaps proceedings to suspend Obligated Parent’s driver’s license are begun. Perhaps the other parent has already filed a Motion for Contempt and Enforcement.

Now Obligated Parent finally consults a family law lawyer and tells family law attorney they want to file to reduce child support (or alimony) … and “wipe out those arrears”.

That’s when the lawyer cringes. Every single time.

Because modifications of child support (or, for that matter, modifications of alimony) are prospective only. That means that the amount of support may be modified from the date of filing forward.

But not retroactively.

Modifications of child support (or modifications of alimony) do not cancel arrearages that have accrued already. And cannot reduce them.

Granted, a holding of contempt may not be in the cards, depending on the circumstances. But an order establishing the arrearages and enforcing payment will be.

Read more in this Boston Herald article: To get child support reduced, go to court now. Note: Massachusetts law and procedure differ from Florida law and procedure in certain important respects.

They’ve been around for a while. But they weren’t universally or wholeheartedly embraced. Parenting coordinators.

But that will likely be changing next month. Due to a new statute.

And the recently imposed requirement that a parenting plan be made in Florida divorces involving children and Florida paternity cases involving children of separating parents who were never married.

A Florida parenting plan is a detailed statement of how parenting responsibilities (decisionmaking, timesharing and support) will be allocated between the parents. More detailed than marital settlement agreements and paternity settlement agreements have commonly been in the past.

Many parents find it difficult to agree on all of the provisions in a complete Florida parenting plan … Leaving it to the court to work out the details of the parenting plan.

Enter the parenting coordinator.

After the parenting plan is entered by the court, many parents find it difficult to live by the plan. Conflict erupts at exchanges.

Again, enter the parenting coordinator.

A parenting coordinator works with parents outside the courtroom to amicably develop or implement a parenting plan without litigation, to arrive at a Florida uncontested divorce or uncontested paternity case.

Depending on the wording of the order of referral to parenting coordination, the parenting coordinator may make recommendations to the court, or may actually have limited authority to rule on and decide certain disputes between the parents.

But parenting coordinators’ primary focus is to help the parents work together to resolve parenting disputes on their own without conflict.

Read more in this press release: National Cooperative Parenting Center Responds to New Florida Legislation.

Central Florida Husband is reportedly having an affair about which Wife found out.

Husband is a police officer.

During an argument, Wife refers to Husband’s paramour by an unflattering name.

Husband allegedly drags Wife out of bed into the kitchen, where he smashes her head against a granite countertop.

Leaving Wife with a bump on her head and a bruise on her arm.

Police officer-Husband is arrested for domestic battery on Wife and confined.

Law enforcement takes possession of Husband’s guns.

Husband is suspended with pay.

It is not clear whether a Florida domestic violence restraining order or order of protection is also entered against Husband.

It would certainly not be unexpected for Wife to seek and obtain a Florida injunction for protection against domestic violence in addition to pressing criminal domestic violence charges against her police officer-Husband.

Read more in this Orlando Sentinel article: Casselberry officer arrested on domestic-violence charge.

Ohio Father is a sheriff.

Father admits to spending many of his working hours on pornographic websites.

Father’s employment is terminated.

Father sues the County that employs him for discrimination in terminating him!

Father’s employing County offers Father a $1,000 bone by way of settlement.

Father accepts.

Father is behind in his child support payments to Mother by several thousand dollars.

Now the County’s prosecutor and child support enforcement office are looking to attach the Father’s settlement money to pay Mother toward Father’s child support arrearages.

When the opportunity presents itself, garnishing or attaching monies that a county or the state owes to the obligated parent is an excellent means of Florida child support enforcement or collection too.

Read more in this Dayton [OH] Daily News article: Deputy who admitted surfing porn owes child support

Obvious? Not so.

So many Florida residents think (or, anyway, say) they have a “simple uncontested divorce“, often adding “there’s really nothing to fight about”.

But that does not make a Florida divorce uncontested. Not even close.

There is one way – and only one way – that a Florida divorce becomes an uncontested Florida Divorce.

And that way is … both spouses must sign a marital settlement agreement that resolves the issues.

(OK, technically, there are two other ways. One, if the other spouse allows a default to be entered and to stand. Two, the other spouse signs an answer and waiver. Don’t count on either of those two things being more likely to happen.)

At a minimum, those issues include:

1. property division, technically called “equitable distribution” of marital assets and debts
2. alimony, technically called spousal support    

   and, if the spouses have children together,

3. parental responsibility (in the sense of decision-making authority) (the term custody is now obsolete in Florida)
4. timesharing (formerly known as “visitation”) and
5. child support.

The latter three matters must be spelled out more particularly in a “parenting plan“.

Don’t get me wrong. There can be many other issues too, large and small.

But the point is: if one spouse is unwilling to sign a marital settlement agreement (or the desired marital settlement agreement) resolving these issues then, with the two possible but very unusual exceptions cited above, the divorce is not uncontested.

No matter how much the other spouse would like it to be. No matter how unreasonable the refusal to sign may be.

Period. End of story.

So even though the divorce may be simple and there may not be anything to fight about, the only way that divorce will happen is after a trial.

Husband has close ties to mob family.

Husband opts to testify against various alleged mob members in return for concessions in criminal charges against himself.

Husband is in midst of a divorce, with one still-minor Daughter involved.

Husband accuses Wife of not promoting “normal” relationships between Husband and their children.

Husband is in the federal witness protection program. FBI agents accompany Husband everywhere.

Even when exercising timesharing with Daughter. Wife is not thrilled by potential risks to Daughter and reportedly withholds visitation.

Husband and Wife had lavish life style. Before Husband entered witness protection.

Now Husband claims to be broke. Wife doesn’t buy it.

Wife asks permission to relocate to New York state so that she and Daughter can live more cheaply with family members.

Husband opposes the relocation, citing the increased risk to him posed by the relationship between Wife’s family members and the mob family who is out to get him.

But the Court sees the economic logic of the relocation and allows it, doubting that Husband is at any greater risk with Wife living in New York than Boca / Delray.

Read more in this Palm Beach Post article: Mob ties complicate Palm Beach County divorce for dad in witness protection program.

Just a year and a half ago, police contacted an Arizona family to warn them that their minor Daughter’s Boyfriend had threatened to end her life and then commit suicide himself.

Quite reasonably, the family immediately applied for a domestic violence restraining order or order of protection against the Boyfriend.

But Arizona law did not allow for injunctions for protection against domestic violence by someone who was only a dating partner without cohabitation or common children.

Less than a week later, true to his word, the Boyfriend had killed the Daughter and himself.

Due to Daughter’s story, Arizona has since instituted domestic violence restraining orders against a casual dating partner.

And just one death threat can earn an aggressor an injunction for protection against domestic violence.

The Arizona law seemingly makes it easier to get an order of protection there than here in Florida.

Each day, at least three women and one man are killed by domestic violence, according to the Domestic Violence Resource Center.

Read more in this [Phoenix] College Times article: New Arizona law aims to curb dating violence.

Although they may not have much else in common, women get the financial shaft worldwide in divorce according to studies by the United Nations (UN).

The UN has a Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination against Women (CEDAW). A UN committee is reviewing its provisions regarding divorce as it impacts women economically.

In many countries, women are not legally allowed to accumulate property of their own and they don’t receive an equal share of marital property when they divorce.

As a result, divorce typically affects men very little from an economic standpoint, but women typically suffer significant loss of income and standard of living.

That is why the UN Committee plans to make recommendations intended to encourage alleviating the situation.

Although the recommendations will not be enforceable, it is hoped they will create a moral imperative.

In the US, where women are equal before the law, statistically, women often pursue uncontested divorces and waive valuable legal rights to escape domestic abuse, including economic abuse in the form of expensive litigation.

Read more in this Women’s eNews article: U.N. Tackles Universal Problem for Women: Divorce.

Child support disputes can erupt in the most unexpected places.

Take two members of the Broward County judiciary.

Divorced from each other for fifteen years.

He has presided over many child support enforcement matters as a general magistrate and, well … he doesn’t go easy on deadbeat parents.

She is a criminal court judge presiding over misdemeanors.

Their children are actually both legal adults now.

Under Florida law, parents are not required to contribute to their children’s support beyond the age of eighteen unless the children are still in high school.

She alleges that both parents agreed to share the children’s expenses while they are in college.

He denies that this is properly termed “child support” – and further disputes her calculations.

The chief judge has spoken to both parties but is taking no action pending the outcome.

The case will be heard here in Palm Beach County.

It doesn’t sound like they thought mediation was worth a try, if only to avoid the publicity …

Read more in this South Florida Sun Sentinel article: Broward judge sued by ex-wife who claims he’s not paying his share of their kids’ expenses and this Miami WTVJ NBC TV 6 article: Child Support Judge Sued for Not Supporting His Kids.

New York State issues Amber Alert for two missing children based on Father’s allegation that Mother, a Texas woman, abducted them.

Mother is taken into custody in Virginia. Now she awaits extradition.

Problem is, the New York state prosecutor’s office has no proof other than Father’s word that Father has sole custody of the children.

Father produced an expired domestic violence restraining order, or order of protection, prohibiting contact between Mother and the children.

New York authorities have so far gotten no response from the Texas courts and the parties’ respective Texas attorneys regarding custody orders entered in Texas.

New York authorities may have to resort to serving the Texas courts with a court order to produce the documents.

All authorities know now is that a final judgment was entered in Texas.

For the moment, Mother is charged with custodial interference.

The charges could be expanded or gutted when the New York prosecutors receive the Texas custody orders. Father could potentially face charges as well, depending what the Texas orders provide.

Read more in this Utica [NY] Observer-Dispatch article: Local officials have one week to decide on extraditing suspect in abduction.

Long Island, New York law enforcement officers have been to Long Island Husband’s and Wife’s home several times over domestic complaints.

Wife obtains domestic violence restraining order against Husband. Husband is also charged with second degree harassment arising from the same events.

Wife asks court to lift the order of protection. Accordingly, the criminal charges are informally placed on hold.

Week following termination of the injunction for protection against domestic violence …

Husband stabs Wife to death.

Husband then cuts himself on the neck.

Husband defends that he killed Wife in self-defense.

Husband’s attorney characterizes Wife as violent and unstable, and asserts that she was the aggressor.

Husband is charged with second degree murder and confined in a psychiatric facility, under suicide watch.

Husband allegedly has a history of drunk driving.

Husband and Wife’s two children are in temporary physical custody of relatives of Husband.

Read more in this East Hampton [NY] Star article: Husband Disputes Charge. David Soto claims he acted in self-defense.

Contrary to what most people think, uncontested divorce doesn’t necessarily mean instant divorce or simple divorce.

In fact, it can often take quite a while before parties can come to agreement on all issues. And that is precisely what must happen before a divorce can be considered “uncontested”.

Even if a divorce is uncontested (which may simply mean that eventually it achieves uncontested status by virtue of reaching a settlement agreement), it still brings upheaval and change. But it should be less expensive and less acrimonious.

In addition to taking care of “legal business”, there are also financial affairs to untangle and take stock of, even in an uncontested divorce.

Consultation with a divorce financial analyst or other financial professional may be worthwhile step toward reaching a settlement … and toward preparing for the future as a single – or a single parent.

Read more in this Canadian Financial Post Magazine article: Family File.

New Jersey Mother and Father have Daughter.

Mother is deployed to Iraq for nearly a year.

Daughter is in Father’s care during Mother’s deployment.

Before Mother departs for Iraq, with the assistance of the military, Mother and Father devise a parenting plan for her return. Nothing goes through the courts though.

Mother returns.

Father denies Mother access to Daughter except for a few, short visits.

Father maintains that Daughter doesn’t really know Mother.

The military does nothing to enforce the parenting plan agreed to.

Now Mother and Father are going through the courts.

Each parents seeks sole custody of Daughter.

It has become commonplace for returning soldiers to find their custody or visitation whittled down. Returning mothers are experiencing this to an even greater degree than returning fathers.

Although there has been much lobbying for changes in law to prevent this from happening, remedial legislation has not gone as far as may be needed. The military has not pressed for more, not even enforcement authority for parenting plans.

Special statutes notwithstanding, deployment away from a one year old for an extended period of time poses challenges in protecting children’s interests and well-being that a family court judge cannot ignore.

Daughter cried upon Mother’s return.

A family court judge has given Father temporary residential custody of Daughter with provision for daily visits and weekly overnight visits to Mother.

Mother reports that she would oppose any threatened redeployment.

Read more in this New York Times article: Soldier’s Service Leads to a Custody Battle at Home and this New York Times article: After Iraq, the Battle at Home.

In theory, everyone wants an uncontested divorce. In reality, that may not be so easy to achieve.

The most common means to an uncontested divorce is a process called mediation.

Here in Palm Beach County, Florida, mediation is mandatory before trial. Even in counties where mediation is not mandatory, court-ordered mediation is routine.

So what is mediation?

Mediation is a negotiation, facilitated by a neutral mediator with training in amicable dispute resolution.

Mediation can save spouses money and hostility, and allows them the flexibility to fashion an outcome where each spouse can be happy with at least part of it. After a trial, a judge dictates the outcome to both spouses.

Mediation is most effective and most likely to result in an uncontested divorce where both spouses are relatively reasonable and realistic as to the range of likely outcomes at a trial.

In some circumstances, such as where there is a history of domestic violence, mediation goes best by assigning the spouses to different rooms and having the mediator travel between them. Slower, but safer and less inflammatory.

Read more in this Pioneer Press – Vernon Hills [IL] Review article: Mediators offer alternative approach to divorce