Florida Divorce * Child Custody * Domestic Violence Law Lawyer | Boca Raton

According to a recent study apparently conducted in the UK, one third of children whose parents divorce become estranged from the parent that they do not live with primarily.

The study attributes this to very bitter, hostile divorces taking place under a statutory framework apparently emphasizing blame and competition.

The study reports that the goal of twenty percent of divorcing parents is to make their spouse as miserable as possible – without regard to the impact of their behavior on their children.

Fully half of the studied parents opted to litigate timesharing arrangements “despite knowing it made matters worse for their children”.

As a result of such attitudes and conduct, according to twenty-five percent of the parents participating in the study, their children were so disturbed by their parents’ divorces that the children became self-destructive or even suicidal.

A leading UK law firm thinks the current statutory scheme in the UK needs to change and proposes out-of-court “conflict clinics” for resolving parenting disputes, rather than litigation.

The study was conducted on behalf of that UK law firm.

The study was based on interviews of only two thousand divorced parents and two thousand children of divorce.

The intent behind the study was to “review” the impact of a twenty year old UK statute applicable to child-related issues in divorce.

The study’s conclusions are quite disturbing, but it is not entirely clear whether the study conformed to scientifically sound methodology, including using a statistically significant and random sampling of subjects and ensuring freedom from bias.

It is also unclear whether the study holds any relevance for US statutory schemes regarding parental responsibility and timesharing, and the application of those statutes by judges to families appearing before them.

Read more in this UK Times article: Third of children lose touch with parents after divorce and this UK Daily Mirror article: Divorce kids lose fathers.

Some spouses will be taken completely by surprise and shocked. Others will have been considering divorce themselves for some time. Others will be at various points across the spectrum in between these two extremes.

Your spouse’s reaction will depend on where on the spectrum he or she is currently “at”.

You should wait for a block of quiet, private time, and ensure there will be no interruptions.

Don’t assign blame. Just explain that your marriage is not working any more, but that you want to resolve things amicably and fairly.

After you reveal your decision, do not let yourself be baited into a debate about it, and don’t attempt to defend your decision.

And don’t dive into negotiations. It is too soon. Your spouse needs time to accept and adjust.

Read more in this Psychology Today article: Telling Your Spouse You Want a Divorce.

There was no reported history of domestic violence in their home during the fifteen years they were married.

Husband didn’t appear like the “violent type”.

But as their relationship fell apart and Wife got involved with another man, Husband started making threats against Wife – and their Children.

Then Husband reportedly began purchasing weapons.

In the end, Husband allegedly shot Wife to death at her job – and injured two of her co-workers. Then Husband killed himself.

The couple’s now-orphaned Children are staying with relatives.

Read more in this [Portland] Oregonian article: Gladstone man’s threats increased through divorce proceedings, wife’s friend says.

Input of financial planners who work with people who are going through divorce produces the following checklist of financial items worth addressing in the divorce but often overlooked:

1. health insurance expenses after the divorce
2. mental health counseling expenses
3. personal credit (without a joint creditor)
4. expenses for hiring third parties to help with tasks your ex used to do
5. expenses of maintaining the marital residence on your own
6. impact of taxes on property distributed to you
7. expenses of getting yourself equipped to return to the workforce
8. increased children’s expenses later on as they mature
9. legal expenses for your future disputes because this may not be the last of them

Read more in this New York Times article: Financial Decisions to Make as You Divorce.

Why do people divorce?

According to a recent study, one reason is that one spouse, specifically the wife, develops a serious illness such as cancer or multiple sclerosis.

The overall divorce rate across the general population, including couples where one of the spouses has cancer, is 11.6 percent.

But, among married couples where the wife is seriously ill, the divorce rate rockets to a whopping 20.8 percent.

By contrast, amoung married couples where the husband is seriously ill, their divorce rate plunges to 2.9 percent.

Serously ill women are more likely to become divorced or separated than their seriously ill male counterparts – on the order of six times.

According to the study, older seriously ill women were more likely to be left than younger women, and shorter marriages were more likely to crumble than longer marriages when the wife became seriously ill.

The study concludes that men are reportedly less able to adapt to the role of caregiver than women.

Read more in this Reuters article: Men more likely than women to leave partner with cancer

Allegedly abusive American Husband goes to China in 2007 to teach English, leaving behind in New York his undocumented Mexican immigrant Wife and their Baby.

Later, Husband contacts Wife and invites her and two year old Baby to China to reconcile.

Within a day of Wife’s and Baby’s arrival, Husband reportedly disappears with Baby. Husband takes up with Chinese Girlfriend.

Husband leaves Baby with a babysitter and fails to pick her up. Baby ends up in a Chinese orphanage. After Husband allegedly abducts her.

Wife and Mexican Embassy official show up where Husband is staying. Husband goes after them both with knives, but is not prosecuted in China.

Wife obtains a New York State court order, awarding her sole custody of Baby.

China is not a party to the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction and does not recognize foreign child custody orders.

Wife obtains a US visa by virtue of being a victim of domestic violence. Husband is deported from China.

Warrant is issued in US and Husband is arrested by US federal authorities for international parental kidnapping.

A combination of US nonprofit agency attorneys, private attorneys, Chinese private investigators, the Mexican consulate in China, the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the US State Department, and Wife’s resourcefulness, initiative and determination culminated in Wife finding Baby, abandoned in the Chinese orphanage.

Read more in this New York Times article: Family Fights Odds, Retrieving Kidnapped Girl.

Noncustodial parent and/or former spouse behind in child support or alimony payments?

Well, Pennsylvania has come up with a proven, working solution.

A county support enforcement agency cooperates with the state’s job-finding and job-training agency.

The state and county each invest some funds into the program.

But the payoff is tens and tens of thousands of dollars and more in collected support payments that would not have been made but for the resulting job placements of noncustodial parents and former spouses.

The pilot program has been around for a few years, but has had wider participation due to the economy.

Read more in this Erie [PA] Times News article: Crawford OKs continuation of jobs program for those who owe support payments.

Mother gives Daughter up for adoption upon Daughter’s birth.

Daughter has been in the custody of state child welfare agency for all of her two years.

Father seeks custody of Daughter. Father is an American Indian.

Father seeks to invoke the Federal Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA), which applies to children of American Indian heritage.

In the first trial over custody of Daughter, Father’s tribe sends a representative to testify in state family court that Daughter is not formally enrolled as a member of their American Indian tribe – and is no longer eligible for membership. The tribal representative represents that ICWA is not applicable to Daughter.

Father disagrees. Court orders a new child custody trial so that Father may have an expert testify otherwise.

For the new trial, Father subpoenas the chief and other leaders (the real decision-makers) of his tribe, to testify that Daughter is eligible for enrollment in the tribe.

The tribal leadership then asserts sovereign immunity in federal court to challenge Father’s subpoenas, arguing that enrollment decisions are internal matters of Indian affairs about which tribe officials should not be compelled to testify.

Father responds that the tribe waived that argument by previously furnishing a representative to testify on the very same subject in the state’s family court at the first trial.

Read more in this UPI article: Tribal sovereignty issue in custody case and this Providence [RI] Journal article: Narragansett Indian Tribe tries to block subpoena of tribal leader.

Mother and Father have 1 year old Baby.

Mother and Father are separated.

Baby has condition as a result of which his lungs constantly fill with fluid and then have to be suctioned out.

Baby is in the hospital on a ventilator.

Baby’s prognosis does not look good.

The hospital and doctors recommend taking Baby off the ventilator and allowing him to die.

Father believes Baby has some quality of life and does not want to take Baby off the ventilator.

So Father seeks a court order prohibiting taking Baby off the ventilator.

As the case is progressing, another medical specialist is being consulted.

Read more in this CNN article: Father fights mother over baby’s life.

Police receive anonymous tip indicating that the odor associated with pot is emanating from a certain home.

Police go to investigate.

At the home, police find various drugs … and a Toddler.

Police contact the local child welfare agency (Agency), which takes Toddler into protective custody.

The Agency tests Toddler for drugs.

The test reveals that Toddler has more than one type of illicit drug in his system, including marijuana and methamphetamines.

Toddler’s parents are arrested for felony child abuse.

A juvenile dependency action will presumably be commenced as well to determine a suitable placement for Toddler … for a while. His parents may be otherwise engaged.

Read more in this Albuquerque KRQE CBS TV News 13 article: Parents busted over toddler’s dope test.

UK Grandmother is legal guardian of her two granddaughters (Girls).

Girls’ Mother abducts the Girls to Morocco.

Unlike the UK, Morocco is not a party to the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Abduction.

Now Mother won’t return Girls to the UK and Grandmother.

The matter is in legal limbo in Morocco.

Grandmother would like to fly there to expedite things, but can’t afford the flight.

UK officials are negotating through the Moroccan Ambassador to the UK.

The Moroccan Ministry for Foreign Affairs has requested a document explaining the circumstances in both Engllish and Arabic.

That will be the basis of the decision by a Moroccan judge.

Mother is charged with child abduction.

Read more in this Blackpool [UK] Gazette article: Help us fly out to get our girls.

Father stresses out about meeting his child support obligation of $1,000 per month.

It’s not clear why. He has a job.

Father is determined to pay his child support.

So, to ensure that he has the funds …

Father allegedly steals merchandise from his employer and sells it to others for cash.

Father is arrested for theft.

Perhaps Father should have instead sought a downward modification of child support …

Read more in this [Waco, TX] KXXV News 25 article: Suspect paid child support by selling stolen goods.

Permanent alimony in Florida – and elsewhere – is getting old.

So think a lot of people and so say a growing number of legislators.

The recession, with so many layoffs, is just the straw that broke the paying spouse’s back.

Many simply can’t afford to pay anymore.

They are seeking relief from the courts in increasing numbers.

And many others simply don’t want to pay anymore … and just don’t think they should have to, forever.

Massachusetts is currently tweaking a bill implicitly shortening the length of time for alimony.

And legislators in Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Oklahoma are pressing to limit the length of alimony obligations and end alimony if the receiving spouse lives with another romantic interest or commits a crime.

Lobbyists in several other states, including Florida, are agitating for similar legal changes.

Read more in this Poynter Institute article: Ex-Spouses Protest Prolonged Alimony in Economic Downturn.

Adults and children attend party in a park.

Adults drink alcoholic beverages.

One mother (Driver) reportedly admits to having three or four beers.

Driver, with her four children, decides to take an evening drive, presumably home.

Driver, it later turns out, has a suspended driver’s license.

Driver agrees to take three other children, one year old twins and a two year old, home for another young mother at the party. The younger mother reportedly admits to knowing that Driver is impaired.

Driver also takes a grandfather to some of the children along on the drive and … a friend.

Bringing the head count in the Chrysler PT Cruiser to a grand total of ten people, three adults and seven children.

No child car seats are in use.

While the car is moving, one of the back seat doors allegedly pops open – and two children fall out and roll in the intersection.

As police pursue the car, a third child falls out of the car and rolls on the street.

Driver is charged with DUI, driving with a suspended license, driving at night without headlights on, having seven unrestrained children in a car, endangerment of seven children, and having an open container of an alcoholic beverage in the car.

The absent mother who asked Driver to drive her three children home is charged with child endangerment as well.

The adult friend, who is taken into custody with an open beer in his possession, is also charged with child endangerment.

Two of the injured children, the baby twins, are initially in critical condition, but later improve.

All seven children have been placed into child protective custody.

Read more in this Las Vegas Review Journal article: MOTHERS CHARGED: Man saw kids, alerted police – Three children fell from car and this Las Vegas Fox 5 TV News article: Police: Mother Left Kids With Drunk Driver – Officer Saw Child Fall From Car.

Husband and Wife separate after an alleged incident of domestic violence to keep the peace between them. Neither wants anything to threaten Wife obtaining legal residency status in the US.

While Husband and Wife are separated, Wife and 5 year old Son live in Mexico, where both Wife and Husband are from. Unlike Wife though, Husband and Son are US citizens.

After two years of this separation, Husband allegedly abducts Son back to the US. Husband insists that he just wants Son to have access to better medical care for his tonsillitis.

Communications with Husband and Son having tapered off, Wife makes an application for return of Son to Mexico under the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction.

Because Son has lived in Mexico for two years prior to his abduction, a US court rules that Son must return to Mexico for the custody case there.

This case stands out in that most cases concerning Mexico and the US involve an abduction from the US to Mexico, rather than the reverse as here.

It is not clear that Husband will pursue his custody case in Mexico, since it reportedly tends to favor mothers.

Read more in this Orange County [CA] Register article: 5-year-old boy returned to mother in Mexico.

Children are taken into protective custody by the state.

In time, biological parents’ (Parents) parental rights are terminated, freeing Children to potentially be adopted.

So, after their parental rights are terminated, are Parents responsible for child support for Children?

Well, Alabama’s Supreme Court has just ruled that they are.

The Court’s rationale is that parents who abandon, abuse or neglect their biological children should not be rewarded by being relieved of their obligation to support their biological children.

Still, the state’s highest court’s ruling seems to defy logical as well as being counterintuitive.

Taking the ruling to its logical conclusion, does the biological parents’ support obligation continue if the biological children are legally adopted by adoptive parents?

Or, for that matter, do the biological children still have the right to inherit from their biological parents (as well as from their adoptive parents)?

Read more in this Auburn [AL] Plainsman editorial: Our View: Ruling on Child Support Creates Questions, Worry.

When baby boomers or seniors divorce, the odds are much greater that the wife has mainly been a largely stay-at-home mother and homemaker who never seriously pursued a self-supporting career.

In younger divorcing couples, the odds are greater that the wife has had a career of her own and has earned roughly as much as her husband.

So senior and boomer spouses who are parting are more likely to focus on property division and alimony issues. Retirement savings, pensions, social security benefits, debts, other assets and so on.

But younger divorcing couples are more likely to focus on parenting and child support issues. Timesharing, decision-making, child support and so on.

Also, younger and older couples are likely to have different personal styles in handling the divorce. For example, older couples are more likely to be more deliberate.

Read more in this Mason City [IA] Globe Gazette article: Considerations for boomer divorce different from younger counterparts.

Seventeen year old Florida Girlfriend has infant (Baby).

Despite a difficult childhood, Girlfriend reportedly tries hard to be a good mother.

Girlfriend has boyfriend (Boyfriend), who moves in with Baby and her.

Girlfriend becomes afraid of Boyfriend.

Twenty-one year old Boyfriend has considerable domestic violence arrest history.

Girlfriend seeks order of protection, but doesn’t properly follow through.

Girlfriends takes some measures to try to protect Baby.

Baby’s body is found on an Interstate.

Authorities believe Boyfriend threw Baby out of a car on the highway.

Boyfriend is on trial for first degree murder in Baby’s death.

While in court, Boyfriend allegedly waves to Girlfriend and tells her “I love you”.

Girlfriend complains.

Judge orders Boyfriend not to communicate with Girlfriend.

Boyfriend’s defense will apparently be based, at least in part, on the fact that Girlfriend spent some of her childhood in foster care and received child welfare services, and was committed for three days’ of mental health observation when she was nine years old.

Read more in this Tampa Bay [FL] Fox 13 TV news article: Judge orders McTear to avoid baby’s mom and this St. Petersburg [FL] Times article: Mother of slain baby Emanuel Murray: ‘I can’t believe he’s gone’.

Spanish-speaking men (and women) in Smith County, Texas take their money orders down to the probation department’s Spanish-speaking child support collections Worker.

The Worker instructs them to leave certain fields blank, such as who the money order is made out to.

The immigrant fathers have made their child support payments.

But the mothers of their children claim not to receive child support.

Worker is suspended on an unrelated allegation of harassment.

Worker’s replacement can’t reconcile Worker’s support collections records.

Investigation leads to the money orders being traced back to Worker.

Worker reportedly alters the money orders so that they read as made out to her personally.

Worker allegedly spends the money herself.

And Worker is arrested on felony theft by a public servant of thousands of dollars, among other charges.

Worker pleads guilty and is sentenced to eight years’ incarceration.

With all due respect to the honest vast majority of child support workers, one has to wonder whether child support enforcement hires have to pass criminal background checks … or any background screening.

Read more in this Tyler [TX] Morning Telegraph article: State Employee Stole Thousands In Child Support.

I previously posted on a case where a North Carolina court ordered children out of homeschooling and back into public school at least in part to compensate for the mother’s religious views.

In a similar recent case, a girl was ordered out of homeschooling and into public school because of her “rigidity on faith”.

In an even more recent high profile case, a teenager fled her family in Ohio after converting to Christianity, for fear that her Muslim parents would execute a so-called honor killing on her. A Florida court ordered the teen returned to Ohio, but into foster care.

There are plenty of other cases lately where aspects of a parent’s religious beliefs or practices – or lack of same – appear to play a significant role in a parenting dispute’s outcome.

Unfortunately, the outcomes don’t always seem consistent – or logical – across the country.

Are family courts indirectly imposing their own religious values on minor children and their parents? And what of a parent’s constitutionally protected right of religious freedom?

These are the questions some are asking – and hoping the US Supreme Court will address in the near future.

Read more in this ChristianityToday article: Splitting Babies – Religious differences are making custody disputes even messier.

Turkish Husband and British Wife and baby Daughter live in Turkey … and UK.

Couple are divorcing.

Wife flees with Daughter from Turkey to UK via Greece.

Wife obtains an order of protection in the UK upon learning that Husband is in London.

Husband makes application for return of Daughter to Turkey under the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction.

Wife contends in a UK Court that Husband abuses her and that Husband and his family abducted Daughter last year.

UK Court finds that Husband and Wife evenly divided their time between the UK and Turkey (meaning that either country could be viewed as the child’s “habitual residence” under the Hague Convention), but that Daughter was born in Turkey.

Expressing its opinion that the Turkish courts are “much admired” in the UK and that the Turkish Court has shown no bias in Husband’s and Wife’s case, the UK Court orders Wife to return to Turkey with Daughter for the custody case.

Wife is devastated by the ruling.

Read more in this Ilford [suburban London, England] Recorder article: Mum told to return to Turkey for child custody battle.