General legal information furnished as a service of Fort Lauderdale / West Palm Beach family law attorney Janet Langjahr
Divorces among retirement age baby boomers in Japan is growing more commonplace.
Japanese wives have apparently tired of cultural inhibitions that restrain husbands from expressing the sentiments “sorry”, “thank you” and, especially, “I love you”.
The threat of divorce has inspired a lot of nonetheless happily married Japanese men to try to overcome their inhibitions to save their marriage.
Several thousand of them have sought mutual support and encouragement on the path to self-improvement through the Chauvinistic Husbands Association.
Every member of the association has thus far been able to keep his marriage intact.
So perhaps they’ve got something there.
Now, we can only wait and see whether branches of the Chauvinistic Husbands Association will pop up elsewhere around the globe in the future.
Read more in this MSN 9 [Australia] article: Fearing divorce, Japanese men learn to say ‘I love you’.
Camp used to be a place for kids to have fun.
Then it became a place for kids to acquire new skills.
Then it became a place for adults to have fun.
Then it became a place for adults to acquire new skills.
Now it’s a place to help dads / husbands (and soon, it is promised, moms / wives) work through divorce issues - and have some fun - in a weekend retreat setting.
The retreat will focus on financial issues, legal issues and parenting and relationship issues.
The company behind this concept is based here in Southeast Florida, and its very first retreat will be held in more or less central Florida next month.
Maybe Kids Divorce Camp will follow next …
Read more in this eMediaWire press release: Daddy Divorce Camp Offers a Weekend Retreat in Central Florida for Men Who are Divorced or Going Through a Divorce and the Daddy Divorce Camp website.
Judge orders Nevada millionaire Husband to pay $10,000 per month in alimony.
Husband not happy.
So Husband stabs Wife to death.
Not satisfied, Husband shoots family court judge.
Judge survives.
Husband charged with murder and attempted murder.
Husband pleads guilty.
Husband sentenced to life in prison.
Under the plea agreement, Husband may become eligible for parole after twenty years.
That millionaire showed everyone. He avoided that alimony obligation.
Wonder what he’ll spend his savings on in prison?
Read more in this London Daily Mirror article: Man killed wife - then shot divorce judge.
Mom and Dad in child custody battle.
Mom’s sisters get access to a senator at a political fundraiser and question her about Mom’s options.
“Who would get custody if something were to happen to Dad and he couldn’t care for the little girl?
“What would happen if Mom were to ‘disappear’ with the child?”
A few days later, Dad is awarded full custody of the little girl.
A week later, Dad is shot and killed in front of the little girl, at a playground before a scheduled exchange of the child.
Senator comes forward and tells what she knows to authorities.
All eyes are on Mom, although she has not officially been named as a suspect.
Mom volunteers that Dad had physically abused her.
Oh, the child?
She was placed with her father’s parents.
Then Mom alleged that they were sexually abusing her.
So now the little girl is in foster care.
Mom is allowed supervised visitation with her twice a week.
The child also meets with a counselor once a week.
Because Mom and Dad each loved her so much and each wanted custody of her …
Read more in this New York Post article: DENTIST IN-LAW PUZZLE SUSPICIOUS QUERIES and this Newsday article: Judge decides girl will remain in foster care.
Michigan couple divorces.
Mother’s parents maintain relationship with grandchildren for several years.
Mother relationship with her parents breaks down.
Mother denies grandparents access to grandchildren.
Children’s father apparently concurs with their mother.
The grandparents sued, arguing that placing the parents’ wishes above the grandparents violates the grandparents’ due process and equal protections rights under the constitution.
The Michigan appellate court denied the grandparents’ claims and upheld fit parents’ right to raise their children as they see fit, even if they agree to bar contact with grandparents.
Read more in this Detroit Free Press article: Both divorced parents must agree to grandparent visits, court rules.relationship breaks down.
A Swedish couple may have to get a divorce.
Their other option may be to seek citizenship in Denmark.
The reason?
They want their son to be able to take his mother’s maiden name as his middle name, before his father’s surname.
The problem?
It is forbidden by Swedish law …
Where the parents of the child are married.
It is perfectly legal where the parents are unmarried.
So, this couple has one premarital child whose middle name is the mother’s maiden name and surname the father’s last name.
But their son, who was born after the couple married, can’t have his mother’s maiden name as his middle name.
Not the most logical law.
But the couple lost their administrative challenge and their legal appeal.
The purpose of the law?
To hinder people from adopting names intended to foster the belief that they are aristocrats.
The statute is under review and may be reconsidered next year.
But by then, this couple may already be divorced. Or expatriated.
Read more in Sweden’s The Local article: Couple ‘will divorce’ if son can’t take mother’s name.
In Vienna, Austria, nearly sixty-six (66%) percent of marriages end in divorce.
That statistic may call for some creative strategies to help people through the process.
Thus was born the world’s first “Divorce Fair”.
Vienna’s Divorce Fair was expected to provide a venue for people contemplating divorce to consult with attorneys, mediators and other experts on the divorce process and picking up the pieces after divorce.
The Divorce Fair forum will not require attendees to identify themselves in order to consult with professionals. (This raises certain ethical questions for attorneys under US standards of practice, but we don’t have divorce fairs in the US - at least not yet.)
The Divorce Fair also was anticipated to present information about parenting and experiencing divorce from a child’s perspective.
Read more in this AFP article: Vienna to host world’s first-ever ‘divorce fair’.
For those struggling financially through divorce, it may console them to know that millionaires may not be any happier in their marriages - or divorces.
About half of wealthy people describe themselves as unhappy in their marriages, and just as many admit to cheating on their spouses in the last three years. (Interestingly, more women than men owned up to affairs.)
Somewhat ironically, the excuse cited for unfaithfulness was desire for variety.
Although half of the affluent were unhappy in their marriages, just thirty percent were considering divorce…
Primarily because divorce is expensive in more ways than one - and could adversely affect a spouse’s business standing and dealings.
But despite the greater aversion of the well-off to divorce, they do tend to plan ahead and prepare.
More than half of wealthy women take steps to assure a private nest egg to see them through, and about one-third of comfortable men do the same. And the greater the couple’s wealth, the greater the likelihood that one or both spouses had tucked something away for that rainy day.
Surprisingly, relatively few rich people had prenuptial agreements. Only 6% of millionaires and only 11% of multi-millionaires with $10 million or more.
Just as surprisingly, postnuptial agreements (property settlement agreements made during marriage) were slightly more common among millionaires generally, but with the highest concentration among multi-millionaires with $10 million or more.
Read more in this Forbes piece: The Wealthy - The Rich And Unfaithful.
It may not last, but collaborative divorce is slowly gaining traction. But it’s certainly not appropriate for many types of people and cases.
It is actually questionable whether collaborative divorce is less expensive than traditional divorce, but it is generally more harmonious.
But it has its critics.
The Colorado Bar Association has, in effect, banned collaborative divorce in Colorado, characterizing it as unethical. Why?
Because “every attorney has an obligation to fight for a client’s interests” and, under collaborative divorce, an attorney is required to drop out of the case if it can’t be settled. Reaching settlement sometimes requires one party to accept an unfair deal.
Other critics point out that the friendlier-divorce model may facilitate fraud and deception by a spouse, since there is no judge to referee and impose order.
Of course, in the end, it’s really about the priorities of the parties in the case at hand. For some clients, peace and harmony are more important than pursuing everything they are entitled to financially.
Read more in this Washington Times article: Rise of collaborative divorce is not for everyone.
Property division in divorce is called equitable distribution in North Carolina, Florida and other states.
From North Carolina comes an article explaining equitable distribution under North Carolina law. Perhaps surprisingly, most of the explanation applies equally well to Florida.
Steps:
Fault is largely out of the picture - unless there is economic wrongdoing by a spouse.
Property settlement agreements are generally forever, except in unusual circumstances. So now is the time to speak, not after the divorce.
Read more in this Winston-Salem Journal article: Be wary: Dividing property in a divorce can be easy, or a minefield.
One issue that probably won’t come up during a divorce of non-senior citizens is social security retirement benefits.
But it is something that dependent ex-spouses should consider after both ex-spouses have reached 62 years of age, provided the marriage lasted at least 10 years and the dependent spouse is not married to someone else.
Once the dependent spouse applies for benefits, the Social Security Administration will determine whether the applying spouse’s own work record or an ex-spouse’s record will provided greater benefits, and should pay the highest benefit available to the applicant.
Read more in this Providence Journal MoneyLine column: Social Security survives divorce and at the Social Security Administration’s website.
Divorce is expensive.
Two households now have to be supported, often on the same income that previously supported one.
Many child-related expenses have to be duplicated in both households.
There are numerous special expenses incidental to a separation.
Lawyers have to be paid for the legal proceedings.
Sometimes accountants and a host of other experts in the legal proceedings have to be paid.
And on and on.
One, if not both spouses often find it tough to keep up.
So Japan has innovated a solution - or at least an aid.
The Divorce Loan.
A relatively low-interest special-purpose loan to divorcing parties.
This sounds like a great idea that would catch on here in the States, if given a chance.
Especially if the underwriting criteria are flexible enought to accommodate the current circumstances of dependent spouses and needy parents.
Read more in this Reuters UK article: From heart-broken to broke? Japan divorce loan helps.
I previously posted on one installment of a series of articles on Basic Tax Questions for Divorcing Parties Answered.
A later installment in the series focuses on division of pension plans, IRAs and the like.
As the article explains, pension plans are often divided via special court orders called QDROs that cause the plan administrator to make part of the former employee’s pension payments directly to the former spouse.
The QDRO does not alter the total pension package payable as a result of the one spouse’s participation in the plan.
QDROs must be prepared with meticulous care. Errors can lead to inability to roll a benefit into another qualified plan without a tax event occurring.
After the divorce is finalized, it is prudent to update all beneficiary designations.
Read more in this Lancaster [PA] Intelligencer Journal article: Tax issues in divorce and separation - Dividing retirement plans and IRAs.
One of the most common questions in a divorce is whether a spouse can qualify for temporary relief and, if so, how much. In the typical Florida divorce, these are not always easy questions to answer.
But, in one Pennsylvania case, the first question was easy to answer and the answer to the second question was “a shot heard round the bar of family law attorneys”. The case is anything but typical.
A Mellon Bank heir and publishing magnate, a billionaire, is divorcing his wife of more than fifteen years. He earns several million annually.
Pennsylvania, unlike Florida, has a formula for temporary support. The dependent spouse receives forty percent of the paying spouse’s income.
This elegant simplicity led to a court ordering monthly temporary support in this case of $725,000.
It sets an all-time record for temporary support in Pennsylvania - and probably elsewhere too.
The billionaire’s attorneys are, of course, fighting the amount of the award.
Other issues in this unusual case include custody of the couple’s pet Golden Retriever, property division, income determination for purposes of calculating permanent alimony, etc.
Questions about temporary support are still generally tough to answer. But not if the paying spouse is a billionaire.
Read more in this Editor and Publisher article: Scaife’s Wife Gets Giant Settlement After Messy Divorce — Claims Newspaper is ‘Hobby’ and this Pittsburgh Post Gazette News article: Millions up for grabs in Scaife divorce fight.
A bitter New Hampshire divorce has an unusual sequel.
For reasons known only to her, the wife allegedly testified under oath at a divorce hearing that she was seven months pregnant with triplets.
Only she wasn’t. Didn’t even appear to be.
Her lie was reportedly compounded by a supporting sonogram she introduced.
During the divorce case, she also allegedly falsely asserted that she had had breast cancer, that her husband was a terrorist, that her husband was going to derail one of his employer’s trains, and that her husband had abused and neglected their children.
All of these allegations were reportedly false too.
More than anything else, the allegations set off alarm bells regarding the mother’s psychological state.
But, in the end, after the family case ended, the mother was tried and convicted of perjury.
Now she faces up to seven years in jail.
And, if she was designated primary residential parent in the divorce case, that will likely change soon …
Underscoring the extreme danger of lying in family court and why one should never, ever do it.
Read more in this New Hampshire Union Leader article: Final chapter in divorce case: perjury conviction.
Divorce in childhood can have a longstanding impact on a child, including how attentive the child will be toward its aging parents in the future.
That’s the conclusion reached by a Temple University researcher, who publishes his findings in the Advances in Life Course Research journal.
In particular, it is the transitions experienced by the child in the aftermath of divorce and the child’s age at the time of those transitions that determine how the child and its long term relationships with its parents will be influenced.
The study also found that stepchildren are far less likely than biological children to closely attend to aging (step)parents.
Read more in this EurekAlert! science news article: Divorce foretells child’s future care for elderly parent.
The divorce rate is climbing … Half of all marriages will fail …
That’s what we hear in the media all the time … Until today.
A couple of professors at the respected Wharton School say it isn’t so.
According to them, the studies typically cited for the above proposition are statistically flawed. And, they report, the Census Bureau in essence admitted it.
In reality, they claim, the divorce rate is falling … Is now at its lowest point since 1970.
They grant that the marriage rate has also fallen … But those who marry today tend to stay married longer, they conclude.
Read more in this New York Times editorial: Divorced From Reality.
Why do couples divorce? Here’s a theory you may not have heard before.
Menopause.
An American psychiatrist posits that hormonal changes associated with menopause, among other things, reduce women’s tendencies to foster harmony in the home and increase moodiness and sensitivity.
Statistics reveal that divorces of couples over forty are more likely to be started by the wife. These statistics are compatible with this psychiatrist’s theory.
This theory seems to fly in the face of the proverbial male “midlife crisis” as the cause of post-40 marital breakups.
But it may be tempting to imagine that skyrocketing divorce rates may be “cured” by hormone therapy.
Read more in this Sydney Morning Herald article: Menopause may prompt divorce.
A South Carolina man embroiled in a drawn out divorce was not very happy with how his case was going.
The court had ordered him to pay temporary alimony and attorneys’ fees to his wife.
And he didn’t want to.
So he devised a way around it - or so he thought.
He allegedly torched his wife’s lawyer’s office.
But that turned out not to be the best way to handle the situation.
In addition to his other troubles, he was charged with stalking, burglary and arson - and held in jail without bond.
This is not a recommended strategy for success in family court.
Read more in this [Columbia, SC] WIS TV News 10 article: Bond denied for man accused of setting Columbia law firm on fire.
Child support enforcement has a powerful new weapon in its arsenal: the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative, which requires travelers returning to the US from Canada, Mexico, the Carribean, Bermuda and central and South America possess passports.
The new laws require many people who did not previously have passports to obtain passports for travel outside the US.
Only they can’t if they owe more than $2,500 in child support arrearages.
So people who really want to travel outside the country must pay up - or stay home.
Connecticut, as an example, has seen support collection rise dramatically as a result of the implementation of the new rules.
And it’s not just Connecticut.
Whatever the benefit to national security, these new passport rules surely benefit someone - children owed child support.
Read more in this Government Technology article: New Passport Rules Boost Connecticut Child Support Enforcement.
Digging for dirt is in.
I posted recently on Female Private Eye’s Businesses Booming with Divorce and Custody Surveillance Work.
But surveillance by a private investigator is only one of the options available today.
Another popular (and often less expensive) option is extracting data from a computer or mobile phone or similar device.
Amazing advances in technology make many things possible - and affordable.
Of course, what’s found isn’t always admissible. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that it isn’t useful.
From financial information to affairs, bad judgment to crimes, the information can be pertinent to the matters before the court.
Or otherwise at hand. Sometimes people just need to know the truth. Whether they can use it or not.
The one type of computer file that should be protected from disclosure is communications between attorney and client.
Read more in this New York Times article: Tell-All PCs and Phones Transforming Divorce.
What are the odds?
According to a local news report, a Miami family court judge ran a stop sign.
And crashed into another car.
The car of a former Miami mayor.
Whose divorce case is being presided over by the judge.
If true, certainly bad luck for the judge.
Probably bad luck for the mayor/family court litigant.
But it could have been worse …
The family court litigant could have run the stop sign and crashed into “his” judge’s car.
Read more about the nightmare alleged in this CBS TV Channel 4 article: Former Miami Mayor Has A Run In With Divorce Judge.
And drive carefully if you have a family court case pending.
You just never know who’s in the other car…
Divorcing couples always have at least basic questions about the impact of divorce on their taxes and their tax status.
Tax status:
Everything depends on whether your divorce was final on December 31st of the tax year in question. If it was, you can file as single. If it wasn’t, you can file jointly or as married, filing separately.
Although married couples filing joint returns receive more favorable tax treatment, each joint filer will generally be responsible for the couple’s entire tax liability.
Child Dependency Exemption:
This generally goes to the custodial parent, although it can be negotiated away to the non-custodial permanently or in alternating years. A special IRS form must be signed by the custodial parent if the exemption is being bargained away.
Dependent Child Care Tax Credit and Earned Income Credit:
These go to the custodial parent and that is not negotiable.
Education Tax Credits:
These go to the parent who has the dependency tax exemption.
Read more in this [Lancaster, PA] Intelligencer Journal article: Tax issues in divorce and separation - Taxing matters.
An emerging question for a growing number of splitting couples may be the still novel question that recently faced a divorcing Texas couple:
Who gets their frozen embryos?
In that case, the Texas trial court awarded them to the Wife.
But the Husband appealed to an intermediate court and won.
Then the Texas Supreme Court ducked the case, so the Husband remains the “victor”.
But note: this couple had actually signed a form consenting to the embryos being “discarded” in the event of the couple’s divorce.
It’s impossible to say how much of a bearing that consent form played in the appellate court’s ruling, but it seems reasonable to infer it may have been significant, if not compelling.
Read more in this KLTV 7 [Texas] article: Texas Supreme Court refuses to hear custody battle.
An ex-cop is publicizing her anticipated forthcoming release of software she dubs Custody Calculations.
It is hyped as a cure for virtually everything that ails separating families and family courts nationwide.
In that respect, it sounds naive and simplistic but, of course, everyone will have to reserve judgment until the software actually materializes. Its debut appears to be running late.
More realistic is the software’s core promise of helping the courts to calculate and collect fines for contempt of family court orders and generate standardized orders on demand.
Custody Calculations contemplates tacking onto each contempt order an extra fine which would be paid to the court system for the court system, possibly to the magnitude of $50 million per state per year.
Sounds good, but that would have to be properly authorized …
Granted, taxes are not foremost in the minds of most couples going through a divorce.
But for couples with sufficient assets, income and civility, tax impact is an important consideration which may be factored into any divorce settlement.
Couples should pay particular attention to alimony, the sale of the house, income tax filing status and timing of the divorce.
An interest in real estate can be transferred from one spouse to another tax-free, but alimony payments are normally taxable income to the receiving spouse.
Capital gains treatment on sale of real estate may favor selling as a couple before the divorce, rather than as a single after the divorce.
For late-in-year divorces, it may pay to wait until early the following year.
In appropriate cases, it may be well worth consulting a tax accountant or tax attorney on the structuring of any divorce settlement.
Read more in this [New Jersey] Courier Post article: Keep your cool in a divorce to avoid tax headaches.
CBS’s Early Show has been airing a series called Reconcilable Differences. It’s focus is on helping the kids through a divorce.
The series explores settling cases amicably utilizing tools such as mediation, collaborative divorce, divorce coaching and education on parenting for divorce.
Of course, the most important rules are not to put the kids in the middle and to make sure they understand they are not to blame.
Nothing new here, except the medium and format. But this medium has a wide reach.
For those who missed the series, videos of excerpts can be viewed over the internet.
For more information, read this CBS News Early Show article: Reconcilable Differences, Part 3: Respecting And Guiding Kids Through A Divorce.
In yet another variation of an increasingly recurring theme …
A man with six children reportedly left his Utah wife of 28 years to pursue a live-in gay relationship in Reno, NV.
Apparently he wanted to move on without any delay - or unnecessary expense.
So he allegedly put the word out to let anyone who might be interested know that he was looking to hire a hit man to kill his wife and be done with her.
He reportedly instructed the intended killer to do the deed away from the home and to break her neck so as to avoid bloodshed.
After all, they were married for 28 years and had six children together …
Read more in this Salt Lake Tribune article: Police: Reno man sought hit man to kill Utah wife.
A Massachusetts couple has the whole husband-wife spectrum covered.
He is a divorce attorney.
She is a minister and officiates at her fair share of weddings.
After a decade of marriage to each other, they appreciate the irony.
And they probably have accumulated a great deal of insight into which marriages fail and why.
Read more in this Cape Code Times article: Minister and divorce attorney counsel couples starting and ending marriages.
It happens. The isolated case featured in the news where a husband allegedly kills his wife: to get custody of the kids, to avoid paying alimony, to evade paying child support, to avert parting with half of his “stuff”, etc.
But then if you review them all, it may appear that it’s not just an isolated case here and there at all. And maybe it’s not really about the kids or the money or the stuff.
Instead, a narcissistic sociopath is really just looking to keep his dirty little secrets secret.
That’s the chilling conclusion in this disturbing article in the Boston Globe: Why do men kill their wives? Could some of these murders really be no more than “divorce substitutes”?
For those interested in digging deeper into the pathos, whether for self-preservation or not, the article seems to be inspired at least in part by psychologist David Adams’ forthcoming book Why Do They Kill? Men Who Murder Their Intimate Partners.
As example after example faces trial in Boston alone, if nothing else, it should serve as a reminder that any kind of a divorce really would have been more tolerable than the possible reality of jail - or worse.
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