Florida Divorce * Child Custody * Domestic Violence Law Lawyer | Boynton Beach

Husband and Wife are divorcing. They have a Child.

They are using social media websites. And dating websites.

In the old days of social media, like last year, used to be your worst nightmare was your ex stumbling upon your indiscreet post that could hurt your divorce or child custody or child support or alimony case. That was then.

Now is now.

Husband happens to find some material online that he believes calls Wife’s parenting into question. Which spurs him to seek more of the same, from the presiding family court.

And the Connecticut family court obliges … and ups the “game”. Exponentially.

Specifically, the divorce court orders both divorcing spouses to submit to the family court – and to each other – all of their respective user ids and passwords on all social media websites they use and all of the dating websites that they use.

Meaning that, if it’s out there, it will surely be found.

Which may be why the Wife allegedly asks a friend to clean up after her and delete anything damaging left in her wake.

Only that backfires on the Wife … because the family court then enters an order enjoining or prohibiting either spouse from deleting any of their material from social media websites or dating websites.

Champions of individual privacy rights are sounding an alarm over this arguable invasion of both spouses’ privacy.

Interestingly though, the family court ruling reportedly violates the privacy policies and terms of use of several of the social media websites and dating websites involved.

This could potentially open up a can of worms. That could potentially result in consequences running the gamut from the websites in question closing both spouses’ respective accounts and banning them … to the websites in question formally intervening in the family court case to protect their users’ privacy rights and enforce their own privacy policies and terms of use.

One thing is for sure. We haven’t heard the last of these divorce court rulings.

Stay tuned …

Read more in this [Providence, RI / New Bedford, MA] NBC TV 10 news article: Divorcing couple ordered to provide Facebook passwords and this New York Daily News article: Divorcing couple ordered to hand over Facebook passwords

Husband and Wife have a Son. And then promptly divorce.

Husband moves far away and starts a new family.

Wife raises Son alone. Son has no contact with Husband.

When Son is just eighteen years old, Son has a heart attack while at high school.

Son suffers severe brain damage as a result of his heart attack and allegedly inadequate care while at the high school.

Wife sues the School District for negligence. Wife and School District settle, with School District agreeing to pay $34,000 per month into a Special Needs Trust for Son for twenty years.

Because Son’s recovery is sheltered in a Special Needs Trust, Son is able to receive substantial public health benefits to meet his special needs.

Son dies five years later. Leaving $8 million behind in his Special Needs Trust.

The Special Needs Trust passes to Son’s estate. Since Son does not have a will, under the applicable law, the Special Needs Trust passes fifty-fifty to Wife and Husband.

Wife allegedly plots to deny Husband his half interest in Son’s Special Needs Trust. She reportedly refuses to provide the law firm handling the Special Needs Trust with Husband’s contact information.

She drives from California to Husband’s workplace in Rhode Island and allegedly tricks Husband into signing a disclaimer or waiver of Husband’s interest in Son’s Special Needs Trust, telling Husband that the document is for Son’s burial.

When the first disclaimer document is determined to be possibly inadequate, Wife drives to Rhode Island again with another disclaimer or waiver for Husband to sign.

This time, Husband becomes suspicious and consults an attorney. And then seeks to set the original disclaimer aside. And Wife sues to enforce the original disclaimer.

At trial, the Court refuses to enforce the original disclaimer, due to Wife’s deception as to the nature of the document and insufficient identification in the document of precisely what it is that Husband is waiving.

On appeal, the appellate court affirms the award of half of the Special Needs Trust to Husband.

Even though Husband was never a part of Son’s life after his birth and was not involved in the litigation which resulted in Son’s recovery.

It is hardly surprising that an eighteen year old did not have a will.

Given the severity of Son’s injuries, however, it is surprising that greater attention was not paid to identification of Son’s actual caregivers and loved ones, and protection of their interests under Son’s Special Needs Trust.

Read more in this Academy of Special Needs Planners’ newsletter article: Mother Tries to Trick Her Ex-Husband Out of His Share of a Special Needs Trust and this National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys’ newsletter article: Attempt to Play Fast and Loose with SNT Remainder Fails (Cal. App.)

These days, many couples are searching for what they hope is an easier, cheaper approach to divorce (and resolution of other disputes too). Different practitioners each tout their own preferred methodology.

One such available methodology that gets less attention than some others is arbitration. Arbitration is an alternative dispute resolution option, in that it aims to avoid lengthy family court litigation (paper motions and multiple legal and/or evidentiary hearings) that culminates in a divorce court trial before a family court judge in a family court courtroom.

Compared to mediation, another alternative dispute resolution methodology, arbitration is still fairly trial-like. So what is arbitration, and why would someone consider using arbitration?

In a nutshell, arbitration is generally faster, more private, less expensive and less formal than conventional litigation.

An arbitrator, a privately engaged professional, often a former judge, presides over proceedings as an ultimate decision-maker, much like a judge. But in arbitration, the parties get to choose their arbitrator for themselves.

An arbitrator hears testimony and also considers other, nontestimonial evidence in arriving at an award, much like a judge.

Typically, an arbitrator’s decision in a binding arbitration is final (although there are certain narrow exceptions).

The arbitration process is generally leaner and more streamlined than typical family court proceedings. Most hearings before the ultimate hearing are eliminated, and development of evidence from the opponent and third parties is normally reduced. This saves parties money as well as time.

And the “main event” is not held in a public courtroom.

Of course, like almost anything else, arbitration can be misused and abused so as to erode its good features and advantages.

Arbitration has not gained great traction in Florida family law yet, but it is finding favor in Canada and other countries already.

Read more in this appellate opinion and this American Bar Association Litigation News Article: Protecting the Natural Cost Advantages of Arbitration

Just about everyone has either been divorced themselves or gone through it, vicariously, with a close friend or loved one.

That’s probably why just about everyone has an opinion on just about every aspect of divorce … and fancies themselves the expert to be giving you advice.

Regardless of whether the divorce they are familiar with occurred in the same state, subject to the same laws as yours, or of whether the circumstances of that case are even remotely similar to yours.

They all mean well, of course. But they generally just overwhelm you with input, breed confusion, anxiety and doubt, cost you extra legal fees for explanations of why your case or the applicable state law is different from their case and the law that applied to it and, worst of all, undermine your legal position and steer you into the proverbial doghouse with your judge.

(Take the example of one of my client’s buddy-advisors: “You don’t have to follow that court order. It’s unconstitutional. I saw that on the internet.” The it in question refers to child support. And the principled good buddy won’t be the one headed off to the pokey.)

In most cases, it’s really best not to discuss the details of your divorce with others. Not unless you want to see them in court … testifying under subpoena from your spouse – about the “private” information you leaked to them. Yeah. Oops.

And you don’t want to spill your guts on social media either. Those leaks don’t even require subpoenaing your buddy to testify.

If you can afford to hire divorce professionals, let them do their jobs for you. If you can’t, then do your best to learn and follow the rules and law yourself. Then rely on your own judgment. Don’t poll the universe about the specifics of your case.

And it’s not just women that get into trouble with this. In my experience, in general, men are just as prone as women to gossiping about their marriage and their divorce, and, in general, even more prone to leaking and polling.

Be the exception. In the end, you’ll be glad you were.

Read more in this Forbes piece: Warning: Don’t Let Friends, Family or Non-Divorce Professionals Give You Divorce Advice.

Divorce used to be the enemy of the family cited by family values advocates. No longer.

Cohabitation has since overtaken divorce by a long shot.

Social scientists associated with the University of Virginia report that divorce has returned to dramatically lower pre-1970s levels.

But cohabitation has risen even more dramatically.

Forty percent of American children will now live in a home where at least one of their parents is cohabiting with another adult.

And cohabitating couples are 170% more likely to break up by the time children in the home reach twelve years of age than are married couples.

And those children are more likely than others to use drugs, suffer from depression, be delinquent and drop out of high school.

Those children are also three times more likely to be physically, emotionally or sexually abused than other children are.

Read more in this press release: Cohabitation, Not Divorce, is Now Linked to Rising Rates of Family Instability in America.

Desperate wannabe parents for whom traditional adoption does not work can become easy prey for people looking to take advantage of them.

Recently, one of them, a wealthy Socialite, shelled out $180,000 for a baby carried to term by a surrogate mother in the Ukraine.

Only to discover that her baby and many similar “designer babies” are full siblings.

Sometimes a spouse (or parent) gets stuck on something. They just can’t turn loose of it.

They start to sound like a broken record. Maybe even a little obsessed.

Perhaps they file for a restraining order of protection against domestic violence. (Perhaps something else.)

They lose. The court denies or dismisses their petition or motion.

So, they wait a week or two and then … they file again.

Essentially the same exact allegations. Just reworded a little bit.

And again they lose. Before the same judge, of course.

Who remembers the last go-round. Perfectly.

Or maybe the spouse or parent files for substantially the same relief in their divorce or child custody case this time around.

It may be pure malice. Or it may be sincere conviction that they deserve what they are seeking …

And the judge just didn’t get it last time, but this time will be different.

Truth be told, even some attorneys may humor their clients by enabling these legal efforts.

But the truth is that the claim does not improve with repetition. Quite the contrary.

More likely, the patience of the judge subjected to the same matter yet again will be sorely tested.

And the Court’s assessment of the spouse or parent’s credibility and reasonableness may suffer. Potentially, irreparably. First impressions ….

On top of that, in at least some of those instances, the spouse or parent may also be setting themselves up to have to pay the other spouse or parent’s legal fees incurred to defend vexatious and/or frivolous litigation. In addition to their own legal fees, of course.

And, in still other cases, the spouse or parent may be exposing themselves to the prospect of a separate civil lawsuit for damages, based on malicious prosecution or abuse of process or other similar legal theory.

When your attorney (or other friendly third party familiar with your case) advises you to let something go, you should give that advice thoughtful consideration. If you still remain firmly convinced of the rightness of your position after an open discussion with your attorney or other advisor, then consider seeking out a second (professional) opinion before you dig in your heels and insist or persist.

Following this advice just may save your money – and your case. Really.

Billionaire eighty year old Boyfriend and famous twenty-eight year old Girlfriend are a couple for several years.

Girlfriend, a foreign actress, is now pursuing higher education in New York City.

Boyfriend, an investor and philanthropist, allegedly promises to buy Girlfriend an Eastside apartment.

Boyfriend dumps Girlfriend.

Boyfriend has a new girlfriend.

Boyfriend gives an Eastside apartment (reportedly the one chosen by Girlfriend) to his new girlfriend.

Girlfriend is angry.

Girlfriend sues Boyfriend in New York … for $50 million.

That could buy quite a few apartments, even in New York City.

Girlfriend also alleges that Boyfriend was physically abusive toward her.

Read more in this New York Daily News article: Billionaire George Soros sued by former flame Adriana Ferreyr, who claims he reneged on luxe digs and this New York Post article: Soros’ jilted ex on their 5-year affair and his sudden change of heart.

Way too often, clients come in who are totally in the dark about family finances.

Their spouse has been bringing home the bacon, managing the family accounts, paying the family bills, working with the family or their business accountant to prepare tax returns.

In too many instances, the breadwinning spouse orders the the other spouse to sign a joint return right now without even reviewing it. “It’s all correct, I’ve already checked, just sign it.”

That spouse may well be abusive, to one degree or another.

As a result, the intimidated spouse really has no idea how much comes in or even what brings it in, let alone the difference between gross and net and the basis for the spread.

They may – or may not – have some vague hunch that something is not quite right. But they are afraid to ask any questions, much less challenge their spouse.

And so it always comes as a rude shock that they are generally just as accountable and responsible to the Internal Revenue Service (IRS) as the controlling, breadwinning spouse.

Unless they qualify under IRS rules as an Innocent Spouse.

And under the traditional rule, it wasn’t always so easy to qualify and the relief wasn’t always so expansive.

Thanks to recent changes in the rules, it is now easier for an ignorant spouse to qualify for meaningful relief as an innocent spouse, as long as the couple is divorced or living separately for a year.

The new rule may excuse or reduce the liability of not only an unknowing spouse but also even a knowing spouse who signs a return under duress from the breadwinning spouse.

The new rule also reduces the impact of a two year time limit on claims for innocent spouse status. This change will even allow previously rejected applicants to reapply for protection.

Read more in

• this Knoxville [TN] News Sentinel article: IRS ends innocent spouse rule

• this USA Today article: IRS ‘innocent spouse’ rules can be tough and

• this BST newsletter article: IRS eases liability rule for spouse’s tax debt

Forty-eight year old New York Man falls for twenty-eight year old Woman.

Man allegedly e-mails Woman, texts her and posts on her Father’s Facebook page for work.

All told, seven lovestruck communications.

Law enforcement authorities instruct Man to cease and desist.

Man also texts New York police officer requesting assistance in reaching Woman and Father to make their wedding plans.

Man is arrested for aggravated harassment by city police as well as federal agents, and tossed in jail. Man is confined pending bail.

Impressive response from law enforcement?

Well, Father is a wealthy businessman and New York City’s mayor.

Man’s alleged conduct represents a modern, high tech twist to traditional stalking, known as “cyberstalking”. Computer and, more specifically, internet-facilitated stalking. No face to face contact or interaction required.

Man faces seven years’ incarceration.

Man’s defense reportedly is that the charges are ridiculous.

Oh, Woman has never met or even heard of Man. And Man works in a pizza place.

Man may also be charged with forging a federal judge’s signature on a court order in an unrelated matter.

Read more in this New York Daily News article: Police arrest cyberstalker obsessed with Georgina Bloomberg, Mayor Bloomberg’s daughter and this NBC New York article: Bloomberg Daughter’s Cyberstalker: “It’s Ridiculous” I’m in Jail.

At the moment, marriage is on the decline, at least temporarily. So, more couples are cohabiting or living together.

Generally speaking, that represents freedom from commitment and obligations.

That may be agreeable to both partners, at least for a time. But the time may come when it is not so agreeable, at least to one of them.

Yet by then it may be too late.

For example, a fifty year old Swedish author (Boyfriend) cohabited with Girlfriend. For thirty-two years.

Boyfriend and Girlfriend had no written cohabitation agreement between them and Boyfriend did not have a will.

Boyfriend wrote a trilogy consisting of three novels. He entrusted all three to his publisher simultaneously.

Boyfriend’s trilogy went on to sell kazillion copies and generate a great deal of revenue and income. Sadly, Boyfriend met an untimely death and didn’t live to see that.

At the time of Boyfriend’s death, his estate was worth about $40 million.

Under Swedish law, Girlfriend inherited from Boyfriend … practically nothing. Despite thirty-two years of living together.

Absent legal marriage or a will, a cohabiting boyfriend or girlfriend in much of the United States wouldn’t fare any better than Girlfriend.

Although it appears to have survived to some degree in Canada, the concept of common law marriage has all but faded away in many states in the US.

While both partners may have open eyes regarding their mutual day to day “freedom”, they may not intend to sign up for absolutely nothing in the event of a breakup or death twenty or thirty years into their relationship.

The bottom line is that unmarried cohabitants for the long haul, at least, would do well to ponder their legal position and potential vulnerability in the event of a breakup or their cohabitant’s death.

Even couples who wish to circumvent all the day to day obligations accompanying marriage can still take some fairly simple and straightforward steps to give their long term partner a measure of protection and comfort in the event of one’s death or departure from a lengthy cohabitation.

Those steps are:

1. A will or trust. A will makes provision in the event of a partner’s death. A trust can make provision in the event of a partner’s death or in the event of a breakup. But it is very important to note that a trust or will can generally be changed at any time as long as the person who made it is still alive and legally competent … without notice to someone who was previously a beneficiary. There may be circumstances and conditions that may render a will or trust irrevocable and unmodifiable. But it’s simpler and more common to go with step 2 …

2. A cohabitation agreement. This is a contract that spells out both parties’ understanding of their economic rights and obligations arising out of their relationship. The agreement can pertain to their breakup, the death of either partner, or both situations – as well as the death of both partners simultaneously.

Read more in this [Canadian] Financial Post editorial: Don’t wait till death do you part.

South Florida Husband and Wife have Children together.

Husband and Wife divorce.

Husband and Wife agree on timesharing schedule which is incorporated into final judgment.

Husband moves to an apartment east of Federal Highway, close to the ocean.

Wife and Children remain in marital home west of Florida’s Turnpike, well inland.

First hurricane season since divorce arrives.

A severe hurricane is expected to arrive during Husband’s timesharing.

Husband lives in an evacuation zone and it is anticipated that authorities will encourage Husband to stay in a shelter until the hurricane passes.

Wife suggests that Children stay in their own safe secure home with Wife during hurricane.

Husband insists on exercising his timesharing with Children, maintaining that whatever happens will be a learning and character-building experience for Children.

Such scenarios play out every year in South Florida.

And many variations of it.

(Husband lives in trailer … or houseboat. Or, Husband wants to take kids out of state – or out of the country – to avoid the hurricane completely.)

Unfortunately, the odds are high that neither the marital settlement agreement or parenting plan or final judgment specifically addresses situations like hurricanes.

Which are inherently emergency situations. Stressful and wrenching. Imminent.

One parent or the other – or both – start clamoring for emergency hearings over how to deal with the hurricane.

Just not feasible in the overwhelming majority of cases.

Although it may not be top of mind when your case is being decided / negotiated, what happens in a hurricane (or other natural disaster, especially where there’s warning) is well worth considering ahead of a crisis.

After all, at the very least, your children’s peace of mind may be at risk; at most, their actual safety and wellbeing.

Canadian Man reportedly knows he is HIV-posiitive.

Man allegedly has sexual intercourse with eleven different women – without protection and without warning them of his condition.

Seven of his partners become infected with the disease. Two die.

Man is prosecuted for two counts of homicide and ten counts of aggravated sexual assault.

And convicted.

A Canadian court concludes that Man is a “dangerous offender” and may legally be confined indefinitely.

Man promises to appeal.

Read more in this New York Daily News article: Canadian court to keep HIV-positive man behind bars indefinitely; found guilty of infecting partners.

Husband, who owns a Nevada strip club, is convicted of federal tax charges.

Husband and Wife split up.

Husband serves one year on the federal charges and is released on probation in 2008.

A patron of Husband’s strip club sues Husband over severe personal injuries he sustains at the club.

In his divorce settlement with Wife, Husband keeps his club. And gives Wife pretty much everything else.

Three marital residences in different cities.

A $7 million investment account.

$5 million in alimony payable over five years.

Husband reportedly sells another strip club in Pennsylvania for about $1 million.

Husband allegedly puts the proceeds of sale into an offshore bank account … and distributes them to relatives.

The Court finds that Husband is misleading or evasive in his responses to the injured plaintiff’s inquiries into Husband’s finances.

And now the federal judge orders Husband back to federal prison for nine more months.

For violating the terms of his probation and allegedly lying to his probation officers. For living high off the hog thanks to undisclosed, protected assets and using his divorce to protect assets from the injured plaintiff and other creditors.

Husband appeals the new sentence.

Read more in this Las Vegas Review Journal article: Ex-strip club owner Rizzolo appeals return to prison.

New York Mother and Father have a child together.

Mother and Father, if married, divorce, or, if unmarried, just go their own separate ways.

Then Father relocates to South Florida.

Afterwards, Mother serves Father in a New York action for child support, or enforcement of child support. (Or alimony, or enforcement of alimony, or enforcement of property division agreement or judgment, or enforcement of parenting plan or judgment, etc., etc.)

Living in South Florida now, Father visits a local South Florida divorce lawyer and South Florida family law attorney for help with his defense in this case.

Only, Father is surprised to learn, his local South Florida divorce lawyer and South Florida family law attorney won’t – can’t – help him.

Why not?

Mother’s case is a New York family law case, not a Florida family court case.

And only an attorney licensed to practice law in New York and admitted to practice law in New York may appear and represent a party in a New York family law court case.

That means Father needs a New York divorce lawyer and New York family law attorney (or New York child support lawyer or New York alimony attorney or New York child custody attorney) and so on.

At first blush, it probably sounds like this could get pretty inconvenient and expensive for Father to identify and consult with a New York attorney. And it could.

But it doesn’t have to … Because a New York attorney doesn’t have to be based in New York.

She might have an office right down the street here in South Florida. As I do.

If Father is lucky, his local South Florida divorce lawyer and South Florida family law attorney may refer him to a New York divorce lawyer and New York family law attorney who is located here in South Florida.

But, if not, Father should be able to locate one on his own, now that he knows what he’s looking for.

Needless to say, the above would also apply if Mother was the ex-spouse or parent who had relocated to Florida, instead of Father.

And the same rationale applies for any other state an ex-spouse or parent may have relocated from. New York is just an excellent illustration of the principle, because there are so many transplanted New Yorkers here in South Florida.

The divorce rate for baby boomers, those fifty years old and more, is higher than and climbing more rapidly than for younger couples.

Yet divorce may impact middle-aged couples financially in ways that have a more lasting impact than with younger people.

To protect and preserve a settlement (especially for a dependent spouse for whom it may be particularly critical), a divorce financial analyst recommends the following measures immediately following the divorce:

1. Check your credit report. You probably should have done this during the divorce as well. After the divorce is a good time to do it again. This should verify the status of any debts that your ex was supposed to be paying or that were supposed to be paid off, catches any confusion surrounding any name changes after divorce and, last but not least, brings mistakes to your attention – so you can follow up and make sure they get corrected. If you are establishing and building your individual credit, you may want to repeat the process a number of times to track your progress.

2. Buy long term care insurance. You may be on your own now, solely or largely responsible for supporting yourself. And maybe children. You no longer have your spouse as a safety net. One catastrophic accident or illness can be devastating. Long term care insurance can plug that hole.

3. Appoint an Agent in Case of Disability or Incapacity. Now that your accounts are individual rather than joint and you probably have exclusive authority over them, it is prudent to designate someone other than your now ex who you can trust and count on to act for you in the event of a temporary or permanent disability or incapacity, whether physical or mental. One or more documents can authorize someone to access your financial accounts for your care and for your dependent children’s care, possibly to manage and/or dispose of your other property and to make medical decisions for you if you are unable to do so for yourself.

Read more in this Wall Street Journal Smart Money piece: 3 Financial Tips for Recently Divorced Boomers

Filing for divorce is an emotionally stressful process. A lot of couples turn to divorce only as a last resort after months or years of trying to save their marriage. If you are planning to file for divorce, you should keep a few things in mind to make the whole process as smooth and as stress free as possible, for both you and your spouse. Before you file for divorce, it is important to carefully think through and consider the points listed below to make sure your rights are protected throughout the process.

Financial situation – Knowing as much as you can about your family’s financial situation will help you get a fair divorce. Go over all the recent financial documents, like tax returns, bank statements, credit card information and loan statements, etc.

Understand your budget – The divorce will not only affect your family’s financial situation, but it will also affect your budget. So apart from understanding your family’s financial situation, you should understand your own budget. You will need to plan a budget to give you an idea of how much money you will need to live on, where the money will come from, and how much you will be expected to pay in case you have a child. You also need to manage your current finances, because now two households will have to be supported.

Custody of children – If you have kids, whatever decisions you make should be in the best interest of your children. The court will also always look at the best interests of children to make the whole process as smooth for them as possible. If you are planning to seek child custody, you should keep track of all the time you spend with your kids and how you will justify what you are seeking in court.

Family home – You also need to decide what you will do with the family home. If the home is a burden for one adult to maintain, it may be better to sell it if there is equity in it. However, the person given custody of the children may wish to continue to use the family home after the divorce.

Preliminary Steps – Before you take any legal steps, you and your spouse may wish to try marriage counselling. If your spouse is not comfortable with the idea of counselling, you can at least get counselling for yourself. If things do not work out, you should talk to an attorney who can explore all the aspects of your divorce with you. Your divorce lawyer should be experienced and knowledgeable in family law and he or she should explain the divorce process to you.

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Guest author Richard Jacobs is chief editor of DwiDuiDefenseLaw, a website that helps you to find the right DUI lawyer for you, if you need one. You can search for a Philadelphia DUI Lawyer or for Orlando DUI Lawyer online, anytime.

Recently, an acquaintance was telling me how her mother, a very intelligent professional woman about eighty years old, deteriorated from highly functional semi-retirement from her profession, to requiring hospitalization, rapidly followed by institutionalization.

All in the course of about six weeks. Six weeks.

She had lost all capacity to remember anything, in the virtual blink of an eye. Severe dementia. She could not even remember to eat or drink enough to sustain herself.

This woman and her husband had run several successful businesses and had amassed significant wealth.

Leaving her family not only reeling in shock, but also scrambling to try to sort out her affairs.

Hot on the heels of hearing about this, a prospective client consulted me in regard to her elderly parents.

For some years, they had wanted to create powers of attorney, both for help in managing their financial affairs and for health care decisionmaking purposes if they became unable to do so for themselves. They had also wanted to re-title some of their properties, to avoid delays in transfer in probate(s).

But, somehow, they just never quite got around to taking care of these things. They could always do it tomorrow …

Now, the father has Alzheimer’s and the mother has difficulty getting around.

In both families, the impaired family members now require caregivers.

These impaired family members cannot manage their own affairs. They can no longer execute legal documents, be it a will, a trust, a deed or a power of attorney.

Sooner or later (probably sooner), it will very likely be necessary for their spouse or a child to file for guardianship of them. So that a loved one will have the legal authority to make decisions and pay for their care as they would want, and to ensure that their affairs are handled as they would want.

Unfortunately, guardianship is a potentially complex, slow and expensive court proceeding.

The sad thing is that in both families, all of the family members’ objectives could have been accomplished without the need for a guardianship proceeding … if these parents had just taken a little bit of time and spent a little bit of money to execute a few important but relatively simply legal documents … before the parent deteriorated mentally.

All of the parents could have had peace of mind, and their children could have had peace of mind. Their spouse or children could have been authorized in advance to smoothly step in to do whatever needed to be done or decided – and they would have had access to the resources necessary to implement these things.

Without the delay, expense and added stress of having to scramble to consult and retain lawyers to file guardianship under such difficult circumstances.

Age, disease, even injury can all cause severe infirmities that can interfere with a person’s ability to manage their own affairs and provide for one’s own care. In some cases, the infirmity can strike in an instant. At any age.

If the impaired person has minor children, the stakes are even higher.

Who will care for their children? Who will be able to manage any property intended for them.

This is every bit as important as having life insurance or a will. Some would say more important.

As in the case of the two families discussed above, people just like you and your family, nothing good will come of procrastinating. Don’t get stuck as they did.

Contact your family law attorney or estate planning attorney immediately … and give yourself and your family the priceless gift of peace of mind.

The divorce is finally final.

So, what’s next?

A divorce party? A trip?

Well, you may want to let loose, but you still have some unfinished business to tend to.

Financial housekeeping.

Such as changing your designations of beneficiary on your various payable on death assets and accounts, including 401(k)s and pension plans.

Even if you’ve already updated your will to eliminate your spouse as a beneficiary.

This type of account or asset, called nonprobate, does not pass under your will.

In most cases, your designated beneficiary inherits them.

Even if you have divorced since designating your now ex as your beneficiary.

Having said that, it’s also important to be aware that federal law, specifically ERISA, supersedes any attempts to disinherit a spouse of a qualified pension plan or 401(k).

That includes a second or third spouse.

So, if your intention is that someone other than, say, your second spouse inherit your pension / 401(k) (such as your childen), your new spouse must execute a spousal waiver and consent. Period.

A spouse can contractually commit to execute a waiver in a divorce settlement agreement and in a prenuptial agreement.

If that is too much of a hassle or doesn’t “feel good”, you can roll your retirement funds into an IRA, which is not regulated by federal ERISA law. Then all you have to do is change your beneficiary designation.

Read more in this Forbes piece: Don’t Let Your Ex-Husband Inherit Your 401(k). Or your Ex-Wife.

Canadian Husband and Wife are in the middle of a divorce, their second from each other.

Couple’s assets are appraised.

A division of assets is determined.

To equalize the property division, Husband must pay Wife about $41,000.

Husband files for bankruptcy.

And as part of Husband’s bankruptcy case, Husband lists and ultimately discharges through the bankruptcy the $41,000 debt Husband owes to creditor-Wife.

There is something of an outcry in Canada over Husband’s ability to avoid his marital divorce obligations thanks to Canada’s bankruptcy laws.

Canadian Supreme Court highlights the problem as requiring legislation to “close the loophole”.

US bankruptcy laws differ from Canada’s laws.

Read more in this [Edmonton] Canadian TV article: SCC: Under bankruptcy law, divorcee cleared of payments.

An intriguing question that doesn’t come up too often.

Husband and Wife divorce.

Husband agrees to pay Wife alimony as part of their divorce settlement.

Such alimony is deductible by Husband on his income taxes and includible by Wife on her income taxes.

Now, after the divorce is finalized, Husband and Wife agree that Husband will pay Wife some additional spousal support. It isn’t entirely clear whether this would happen just once, or each and every month.

Does this additional support receive the same tax treatment?

Based on these facts, no.

For spousal support to be deductible by the paying spouse and includible by the receiving spouse, that spousal support must be mandated by a settlement agreement and/or court order.

Of course, if Husband is willing to commit to paying the additional support over time, Husband and Wife can formally modify their divorce settlement.

If they did so, then the additional spousal support should be deductible by the paying spouse and includible by the receiving spouse.

Failing that, the additional alimony is deemed to be a gift for tax purposes.

Please note that any U.S. federal tax advice contained here is not intended or written to be used, and cannot be used, for the purpose of (i) avoiding penalties under the Internal Revenue Code or (ii) promoting, marketing or recommending to another party any transaction or matter that is contained in this blog.

Read more in this Wall Street Journal piece: Ask the taxgirl: Voluntary Spousal Support

Israeli Husband and Wife have secular divorce.

Wife seeks a Jewish divorce, called a get.

Husband refuses, in effect shackling Wife to him and blocking any remarriage in her faith.

Husband heads to Brooklyn.

And a New Jersey Rabbi, looking out for Wife, allegedly arranges for Husband to be kidnapped and roughed up in an effort to secure Wife’s get.

Husband grants Wife the get.

The Rabbi allegedly is no longer satisfied with just that, and tries to extort $100,000 for Wife from Husband’s father.

Now Rabbi and his wife face a federal prosecution on charges of kidnapping and coercion, which could culminate in life imprisonment if they are convicted.

Read more in this New York Post article: Silly rabbi! Bust for divorce force.

Connecticut Husband and Wife are divorcing.

Husband and Wife have seven dogs.

Wife gives one puppy up for adoption at a local animal rescue, blaming economic constraints.

Later, Husband contacts the shelter wanting to retrieve the puppy.

In the end, Wife goes to the rescue facility and gets the puppy back.

While divorce law may view family pets as nothing more than personal property, pet lovers view them as members of the family, even like children.

Sometimes a spouse uses pets as pawns in a scheme to hurt the other spouse, ignoring the pet’s needs and preferences.

This is no more acceptable than using children as pawns in divorce.

Read more in this Westport [CT] Patch article: ‘Ruff’ Stuff – The family dog’s future is often at the center of contentious divorces.

Noncustodial parent and kids at the park.

Noncustodial parent and kids at the movies.

Noncustodial parent and kids at restaurant.

One photo after another, capturing … what?

At first blush, the noncustodial parent and children enjoying happy times.

Under closer scrutiny, many divorced custodial parents see something very different in these photos.

A “fraudulent noncustodial parent”. Pressured into doing activities with the children.

Or photographing activities for ulterior motives (such as attracting dates, impressing acquaintances, family members or judges, easing guilt, etc.).

Perhaps.

But sometimes a noncustodial parent changes in response to the changed conditions of their new reality.

Even if there’s a hidden agenda, the bottom line is that the changes, real or feigned, are in the best interests of the children.

Read more in this Macleans article: Ex-wives rail about phony Facebook dads.

Professional Texas football player-Boyfriend gives Girlfriend an engagement ring … a $77,000 engagement ring, give or take a few dollars.

But Boyfriend doesn’t simply hand it to her as he pops the question.

No, he sends it to her, in a box, along with some money for tuition and dental work, a gift ball for her brother and – a recording of his proposal.

And next thing he knows, poor Boyfriend gets an unpleasant surprise. Girlfriend turns him down!

Disappointing, but not the end of the world.

However, Girlfriend allegedly doesn’t return Boyfriend’s ring. Now that could be the end of the world.

It appears that Boyfriend bypasses sending a recorded message about that in favor of a more direct and expeditious “request” for return of the ring.

Only Girlfriend reportedly claims to have lost it. These things happen …

But the insurance company won’t let it go at that. And, lo and behold, reportedly finds the ring …

With Girlfriend’s Father.

Boyfriend sues Girlfriend. And Father.

(This case would appear to be controlled by Texas law. There is some recent flux in this area of the law in some states. But if this couple lived in Florida, Boyfriend would be on stronger footing.)

Father tells reporters that he plans to return the ring to Boyfriend. Although he doesn’t say exactly when.

But he’s probably good for it, right?

All’s well that ends well?

Read more in this New York Daily News article: NFL receiver Roy Williams sues ex-girlfriend for $76,600 ring after proposal rejected.

A study conducted by the University of Iowa concludes that early teens who become sexually active are more likely to divorce than those whose first sexual experience occurs later in life. This is particularly true where the early teens’ first sexual experience was not wanted or where they were ambivalent about it.

The statistics are dramatic. Thirty-one percent of sexually active teens divorce within five years after marriage and forty-seven percent within ten years after marriage.

This contrasts with fifteen percent and twenty-seven percent for women who abstain from sex until reaching adulthood.

The study also reports that the overwhelming majority of teens who become sexually active are ambivalent about it.

The study does not draw any clear cut conclusions as to the why behind its findings. It is possible that early teens who become sexually active are simply predisposed toward divorce, but it seems more likely that their sexual precocity fosters ideas and conduct that contribute toward divorce.

Read more in this University of Iowa press release: UI study examines link between teen sex and divorce rate.

Tennessee Husband and Wife are divorced.

They have a Child together.

Husband has reportedly been battling to see his Child for fourteen years.

It isn’t clear whether the Wife is arbitrarily denying Husband visitation or whether it is really the family court denying Husband visitation.

Because Husband’s visitation is frustrated though, Grandmother, his mother, has also been denied timesharing with Child.

But that may be about to change.

Tennessee has just passed a statute that authorizes judges to award grandparents timesharing with their grandchildren.

It remains to be seen, however, whether the new law will survive a constitutional challenge.

Ironically, Tennessee’s neighboring state of Alabama has just struck down a statute mandating timesharing for grandparents as unconstitutional under settled federal law upholding the fundamental right of fit parents to determine their children’s best interests.

Read more in this [Knoxville, TN] WBIR-TV 10 news article: Judges could soon decide grandparent visitation rights and this New England Cable News article: Ala. court strikes down law for grandparent rights

Transplanted residents from other states are often surprised by this one … and sometimes clobbered.

Florida has a constitutional protection called homestead.

What homestead does, among other things, is require that the legal spouse of a homeowner:

1. join in any deed of a home to a third party and

2. join in or consent to any mortgage on a home

Florida confers these rights and protections on spouses by virtue of their legal status of being married. How the property is titled or when the property was acquired is irrelevant.

So … a married spouse cannot sell a house they own, or mortgage it, unless the other spouse joins in the transaction or signs a written consent to it.

And a spouse generally won’t be able to get a away with lying about their marital status.

Title insurance companies conduct public records searches that are bound to foil any such lie. When couples divorce in Florida, a final judgment is recorded, just like a deed or mortgage.

Read more in this Sun Sentinel column House Keys: Ask a real estate pro: Do I need my estranged wife’s consent to sell home?.

Mother and Father live in British Columbia, Canada.

Mother and Father have three year old Son together.

Mother and Father break up.

Mother allegedly abducts Son to the US.

Canadian family court awards Father sole custody of Son.

Mother manages to remain at large with Son for seven years, despite Father’s efforts to locate Son.

Mother reportedly flies into a rage while in a laundromat in Arizona, allegedly because Son bought some candy.

Police are summoned.

And discover that Mother is wanted in Canada for parental child abduction.

Police arrest Mother for disorderly conduct.

Son is taken into child protective custody.

Son is then returned to Father, who comes to Arizona. Father plans to bring Son back to Canada (and his two older siblings, Sisters).

Due to the age at which Son was taken, he barely recollects Father or Sisters.

Unrepentant, Mother defends her actions and insists that Father is not Son’s father … despite a DNA test reportedly proving that he is.

Son can undoubtedly look forward to a big adjustment.

Arizona authorities are working with the Canadian courts to find a way to extradite Mother to Canada.

Read more in

• this Vancouver Sun article: Boy’s return to Canada means new set of challenges for family

• this CTV News article: ‘Valor’s had a good life,’ mom says from jail and

• this Calgary Sun article: Missing boy’s father a stranger

Tennessee Husband and Wife have a Son together.

Husband and Wife divorce.

Son now lives primarily with Husband.

Husband learns that Son is not Husband’s biological offspring, but rather the product of an affair by Wife.

Husband sues Wife to recover child support and for damages due to emotional distress caused by Wife’s fraud.

At trial, the family court awards Husband $26,000 in child support and $100,000 in emotional distress damages.

Wife appeals. And the intermediate level appellate court strikes the financial awards to Husband.

Husband appeals. And the state Supreme Court will address for the first time whether a defrauded father may sue for child support and/or damages due to paternity fraud.

This is an issue that will not go away. After years of lobbying by men’s rights groups, numbers of states, including Florida, passed legislation permitting legal fathers to disprove that they are the biological fathers of their legal children and avoid future child support payments.

The catch is that the legal father must mount his legal challenge pretty quickly. And that is believed to be true in the other states as well as Florida.

Further, the sole remedy to date is believed to be termination of child support, but not recovery of previously paid support – or damages. That would represent a significant departure and a new page in our law books.

Not to mention the impact it would have on the innocent children who are the subjects of these disputes.

Read more in this WREG TV News 3 article: Tennessee Supreme Court could determine whether paternity fraud is grounds to sue and this Insurance Journal article: Father’s Day: Tennessee Court Considers Paternity Fraud, Damages.