General legal information furnished as a service of Fort Lauderdale / West Palm Beach family law attorney Janet Langjahr
Postpartum depression has received a fair amount of attention in recent years.
Less recognized is that many new fathers also suffer from depression after the birth of their children. Called postnatal depression, it affects up to ten percent of first time dads.
An Australian researcher plans to conduct a study of this condition, which is far more likely to go undiagnosed and untreated than postpartum depression.
Read more in this Fairfax Australia’s The Age article: Paternity blues.
A disturbing editorial rendering accounts of adults who were victims of parental alienation as children and the parents from whom they were alienated.
One particularly haunting account was of a young father who was being alienated from his children … and his sudden insight that what he was going through now was what happened to his own father when he was a child.
The morsel of hope to be drawn from the piece is that many children eventually come to understand as adults what went on when they were children - and re-establish bonds with the parent from whom they were alienated.
Sometimes lost in the shuffle is that the children are also victims of parental alienation - and that they are often scarred by the alienation. Even if they eventually re-attach to the alienated parent.
One of the most common questions that parents pose to family lawyers arises from threats by one parent to have the other parent arrested for kidnapping.
In the majority of cases where this threat is related to family lawyers, there is absolutely no legal basis to support an arrest.
(Of course, that does not mean that the threatening parent cannot call every law enforcement agency he or she can get to talk to him or her, and attempt to enlist the agency’s aid, witting or unwitting, in harassing the other parent.)
A Texas father was actually recently indicted for kidnapping two of his own children during the parents’ latest custody battle. (The terms of any applicable child custody orders are not known.) The charges pressed were felony charges, imposing penalties of up to ten years.
The man allegedly struck his ex-wife in the head and drove off with two of their children. The man reportedly took the children to a nearby relative’s house for the night - with the intention of returning them to school / daycare the following day.
The man was acquitted.
Part of his defense was that he was incorrectly charged with kidnapping his children. At worst, his attorney apparently argued, he should have been charged with interference with custody. That is a lesser charge, with a maximum penalty of two years.
And, after hearing all of the evidence and circumstances, the jury evidently agreed that the man was not guilty of kidnapping.
Read more in this Midland Reporter Telegram article: Jury clears man of kidnapping charges.
Woman meets group of friends at local Chinese restaurant.
She arranged everything by e-mail from home.
She specifically chose that desination because she knew she wouldn’t encounter her ex-husband there, because he disliked Chinese food.
The woman’s ex had a history of controlling and abusive behaviors.
When she arrived, she was shocked to see him there.
How did he know?
How do an increasing number of former, controlling and abusive intimate partners in general keep tabs on their ex’s, and continue haunting their steps and their lives?
Unfortunately, computer spyware renders one’s personal computer “an open book”. Every keystroke is visible. All stored information accessible.
It is important for victims and potential victims of stalking and cyberstalking to be aware of this.
And, for sensitive matters, to only use computers that their abuser does not have access to. And to have their home computer “cleaned” after the abuser’s access is cut off.
Cyberstalking is a crime in Florida and many other states.
Read many good prevention and protection tips in this Emerald Coast article: Cyberstalking; it’s frightening, it’s intrusive, and it’s against the law.
Michigan couple divorces.
Mother’s parents maintain relationship with grandchildren for several years.
Mother relationship with her parents breaks down.
Mother denies grandparents access to grandchildren.
Children’s father apparently concurs with their mother.
The grandparents sued, arguing that placing the parents’ wishes above the grandparents violates the grandparents’ due process and equal protections rights under the constitution.
The Michigan appellate court denied the grandparents’ claims and upheld fit parents’ right to raise their children as they see fit, even if they agree to bar contact with grandparents.
Read more in this Detroit Free Press article: Both divorced parents must agree to grandparent visits, court rules.relationship breaks down.
A Swedish couple may have to get a divorce.
Their other option may be to seek citizenship in Denmark.
The reason?
They want their son to be able to take his mother’s maiden name as his middle name, before his father’s surname.
The problem?
It is forbidden by Swedish law …
Where the parents of the child are married.
It is perfectly legal where the parents are unmarried.
So, this couple has one premarital child whose middle name is the mother’s maiden name and surname the father’s last name.
But their son, who was born after the couple married, can’t have his mother’s maiden name as his middle name.
Not the most logical law.
But the couple lost their administrative challenge and their legal appeal.
The purpose of the law?
To hinder people from adopting names intended to foster the belief that they are aristocrats.
The statute is under review and may be reconsidered next year.
But by then, this couple may already be divorced. Or expatriated.
Read more in Sweden’s The Local article: Couple ‘will divorce’ if son can’t take mother’s name.
Owning a home remains the American Dream.
And for many singles to achieve it, they are buying with another person who is not their spouse.
From a legal standpoint, this requires some extra legal preparation.
Frank conversation about mutual expectations, finances and debt and credit.
Reducing the terms of the arrangement to a written contract.
Some points to be covered:
A little advance consideration and planning is crucial to a successful real estate joint venture outside marriage.
Read more in this MS NBC article: Pros and cons of buying a house with friends.
For those struggling financially through divorce, it may console them to know that millionaires may not be any happier in their marriages - or divorces.
About half of wealthy people describe themselves as unhappy in their marriages, and just as many admit to cheating on their spouses in the last three years. (Interestingly, more women than men owned up to affairs.)
Somewhat ironically, the excuse cited for unfaithfulness was desire for variety.
Although half of the affluent were unhappy in their marriages, just thirty percent were considering divorce…
Primarily because divorce is expensive in more ways than one - and could adversely affect a spouse’s business standing and dealings.
But despite the greater aversion of the well-off to divorce, they do tend to plan ahead and prepare.
More than half of wealthy women take steps to assure a private nest egg to see them through, and about one-third of comfortable men do the same. And the greater the couple’s wealth, the greater the likelihood that one or both spouses had tucked something away for that rainy day.
Surprisingly, relatively few rich people had prenuptial agreements. Only 6% of millionaires and only 11% of multi-millionaires with $10 million or more.
Just as surprisingly, postnuptial agreements (property settlement agreements made during marriage) were slightly more common among millionaires generally, but with the highest concentration among multi-millionaires with $10 million or more.
Read more in this Forbes piece: The Wealthy - The Rich And Unfaithful.
It may not last, but collaborative divorce is slowly gaining traction. But it’s certainly not appropriate for many types of people and cases.
It is actually questionable whether collaborative divorce is less expensive than traditional divorce, but it is generally more harmonious.
But it has its critics.
The Colorado Bar Association has, in effect, banned collaborative divorce in Colorado, characterizing it as unethical. Why?
Because “every attorney has an obligation to fight for a client’s interests” and, under collaborative divorce, an attorney is required to drop out of the case if it can’t be settled. Reaching settlement sometimes requires one party to accept an unfair deal.
Other critics point out that the friendlier-divorce model may facilitate fraud and deception by a spouse, since there is no judge to referee and impose order.
Of course, in the end, it’s really about the priorities of the parties in the case at hand. For some clients, peace and harmony are more important than pursuing everything they are entitled to financially.
Read more in this Washington Times article: Rise of collaborative divorce is not for everyone.
One issue that probably won’t come up during a divorce of non-senior citizens is social security retirement benefits.
But it is something that dependent ex-spouses should consider after both ex-spouses have reached 62 years of age, provided the marriage lasted at least 10 years and the dependent spouse is not married to someone else.
Once the dependent spouse applies for benefits, the Social Security Administration will determine whether the applying spouse’s own work record or an ex-spouse’s record will provided greater benefits, and should pay the highest benefit available to the applicant.
Read more in this Providence Journal MoneyLine column: Social Security survives divorce and at the Social Security Administration’s website.
Divorce is expensive.
Two households now have to be supported, often on the same income that previously supported one.
Many child-related expenses have to be duplicated in both households.
There are numerous special expenses incidental to a separation.
Lawyers have to be paid for the legal proceedings.
Sometimes accountants and a host of other experts in the legal proceedings have to be paid.
And on and on.
One, if not both spouses often find it tough to keep up.
So Japan has innovated a solution - or at least an aid.
The Divorce Loan.
A relatively low-interest special-purpose loan to divorcing parties.
This sounds like a great idea that would catch on here in the States, if given a chance.
Especially if the underwriting criteria are flexible enought to accommodate the current circumstances of dependent spouses and needy parents.
Read more in this Reuters UK article: From heart-broken to broke? Japan divorce loan helps.
One occupational hazard attorneys face is not-quite-ranting calls from (or appointments with) people who believe, rightly or wrongly, that they - or, worse, their kids - have been unfairly “beaten up” by the legal system, when they were represented by another attorney - or no attorney.
Those folks often have a lot in common with this Tennessee mother.
A Tennesee judge awarded custody of her child to the child’s father. After Tennessee’s Department of Children’s Service had allegedly already made a finding of abuse by the father.
But the story doesn’t end there.
The mother appealed the custody award.
And won. An appellate court reversed the trial judge’s ruling, and remanded to the trial court.
Only, reportedly, the trial judge obstinately refused to alter its custody award in accordance with the appellate court’s ruling. Just plain refused.
Forcing the mother to spend gazillion more dollars to compel the implementation of the appellate court’s ruling.
This Tennessee judge was ultimately publicly reprimanded, according to the article below.
But it wouldn’t be surprising if this mother had to do some almost-ranting before she got her child back, safe.
Still, things did get straightened out in the end.
At least for this Tennessee mother and her child. Who, somehow or other, could apparently afford the appeals.
Read more in this Macon County [TN] Times article: Judge Byrd reprimanded in Wilson County case.
Unfortunately, most non-lawyers have little good to say about the legal system. But one research professor disagrees sharply.
It is his belief that legal proceedings can and should be therapeutic for the participants. And his paradigm is called therapeutic jurisprudence.
This mindset emphasizes how the law impacts on people’s lives and well-being, and how the quality of interactions between litigants and judges can affect litigants’ experiences of the legal system.
Under this schema, the law is a “dynamic social force”, which seems fitting and appropriate.
Some family court judges are prime examples of therapeutic jurisprudence. They extol to litigants the virtues of resolving disputes through mediation rather than litigation, not so much because it may save the parties money, but because it will benefit their children - and they will just plain be more satisfied with the outcome than if it is court-imposed.
If therapeutic jurisprudence fails to describe the current state of our legal system, it aptly describes the standard that all legal system professionals should aspire to.
Read more in this University of Arizona News article: Legal Proceedings can be Therapeutic, UA Researcher Finds.
A bitter New Hampshire divorce has an unusual sequel.
For reasons known only to her, the wife allegedly testified under oath at a divorce hearing that she was seven months pregnant with triplets.
Only she wasn’t. Didn’t even appear to be.
Her lie was reportedly compounded by a supporting sonogram she introduced.
During the divorce case, she also allegedly falsely asserted that she had had breast cancer, that her husband was a terrorist, that her husband was going to derail one of his employer’s trains, and that her husband had abused and neglected their children.
All of these allegations were reportedly false too.
More than anything else, the allegations set off alarm bells regarding the mother’s psychological state.
But, in the end, after the family case ended, the mother was tried and convicted of perjury.
Now she faces up to seven years in jail.
And, if she was designated primary residential parent in the divorce case, that will likely change soon …
Underscoring the extreme danger of lying in family court and why one should never, ever do it.
Read more in this New Hampshire Union Leader article: Final chapter in divorce case: perjury conviction.
The South Dakotan American Indian community used to find much fault with the way that state has dealt with them in regard to matters of child welfare.
For example, American Indian children have been placed long-term in foster care with non-Indian families, merely on their say-so that they were members of an American Indian tribe - when they weren’t.
The liaisons in the tribe blamed violations of the Indian Child Welfare Act on poor communications between the state and the tribe.
Over the last few years, however, things have gotten much better in South Dakota.
Communications have improved, thanks to a governor’s task force and the Collaborative Circle.
The Circle has representatives from the state, various social services experts and all the regional tribes. The Circle meets quarterly and its executive council meets monthly.
Today, American Indians have been certified to serve as foster parents and families. This has helped to keep American Indian foster children within their tribes.
Today, American Indian children’s cases are more smoothly moved to tribal courts when there are custody disputes and related issues.
Now, the tribes have set their sights on educating judges and expert witnesses, as they have educated social services workers.
South Dakota has become a model for other states that have not made comparable progress in state-tribal relations - despite similar measures.
Read more in this Indian Country Today article: Collaborative Circle aids in Indian Child Welfare Act compliance.
Who does custody evaluations? Well, it depends on who is being evaluated.
In some states, veterinary animal behavior specialists serve as the experts who advise which separating “pet parent” should have “custody” of the family pet.
One such pet custody evaluator explains her methodology in a process which takes about an hour and a half. Part of the evaluation is based on responses of the pet parents to questions at an interview. The remainder of the evaluation is based on observation of the pet’s interactions with the pet parents.
“Calling contests” are not considered reliable indicators.
Ultimately, the pet custody evaluator seeks to determine which pet parent the pet has a stronger bond to and preference for, and who the evaluator thinks would better care for the pet.
Equal timesharing is not usually recommended because many pets find such an arrangement emotionally challenging.
Read more in this Boston Globe article: Lawyer for the dog.
Child support enforcement has a powerful new weapon in its arsenal: the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative, which requires travelers returning to the US from Canada, Mexico, the Carribean, Bermuda and central and South America possess passports.
The new laws require many people who did not previously have passports to obtain passports for travel outside the US.
Only they can’t if they owe more than $2,500 in child support arrearages.
So people who really want to travel outside the country must pay up - or stay home.
Connecticut, as an example, has seen support collection rise dramatically as a result of the implementation of the new rules.
And it’s not just Connecticut.
Whatever the benefit to national security, these new passport rules surely benefit someone - children owed child support.
Read more in this Government Technology article: New Passport Rules Boost Connecticut Child Support Enforcement.
Digging for dirt is in.
I posted recently on Female Private Eye’s Businesses Booming with Divorce and Custody Surveillance Work.
But surveillance by a private investigator is only one of the options available today.
Another popular (and often less expensive) option is extracting data from a computer or mobile phone or similar device.
Amazing advances in technology make many things possible - and affordable.
Of course, what’s found isn’t always admissible. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that it isn’t useful.
From financial information to affairs, bad judgment to crimes, the information can be pertinent to the matters before the court.
Or otherwise at hand. Sometimes people just need to know the truth. Whether they can use it or not.
The one type of computer file that should be protected from disclosure is communications between attorney and client.
Read more in this New York Times article: Tell-All PCs and Phones Transforming Divorce.
A Washington state woman was denied unsupervised visitation with her daughter after absconding with her daughter to Los Angeles during visitation last year.
Undeterred, the woman more recently allegedly absconded with her daughter again, during a visitation supervised by her parents. This time they reportedly went to Las Vegas, where they remained for a month.
This time around the mother suffered more severe consequences for her actions.
On the criminal side, the was charged with felony custodial interference, but pleaded guilty to misdemeanor custodial interference. She will be “sentenced” to psychological treatment and probation, but no incarceration. Her daughter will be spared having to testify against her.
The mother didn’t fare as well in family court though. She is barred from any contact with her daughter (except for a written apology for her actions) without prior court approval.
Both she and her daughter would have been better off had she learned her lesson after the first custodial violation.
Read more in this Tri-City [WA] Herald article: Finley pleads guilty to taking her child to Las Vegas.
What are the odds?
According to a local news report, a Miami family court judge ran a stop sign.
And crashed into another car.
The car of a former Miami mayor.
Whose divorce case is being presided over by the judge.
If true, certainly bad luck for the judge.
Probably bad luck for the mayor/family court litigant.
But it could have been worse …
The family court litigant could have run the stop sign and crashed into “his” judge’s car.
Read more about the nightmare alleged in this CBS TV Channel 4 article: Former Miami Mayor Has A Run In With Divorce Judge.
And drive carefully if you have a family court case pending.
You just never know who’s in the other car…
Divorcing couples always have at least basic questions about the impact of divorce on their taxes and their tax status.
Tax status:
Everything depends on whether your divorce was final on December 31st of the tax year in question. If it was, you can file as single. If it wasn’t, you can file jointly or as married, filing separately.
Although married couples filing joint returns receive more favorable tax treatment, each joint filer will generally be responsible for the couple’s entire tax liability.
Child Dependency Exemption:
This generally goes to the custodial parent, although it can be negotiated away to the non-custodial permanently or in alternating years. A special IRS form must be signed by the custodial parent if the exemption is being bargained away.
Dependent Child Care Tax Credit and Earned Income Credit:
These go to the custodial parent and that is not negotiable.
Education Tax Credits:
These go to the parent who has the dependency tax exemption.
Read more in this [Lancaster, PA] Intelligencer Journal article: Tax issues in divorce and separation - Taxing matters.
What happens when the custodial parent moves to another school district (not another state or even city) after separation?
Well, in one Michigan case, the mother, the custodial parent, is driving her children 60 miles to keep her kids in the same school district as before the parents’ separation. The father insists that school district is superior to the one where the mother and children now reside.
So the parents will have to go back to court so that the judge can … choose the school the kids should attend.
And what about that commute for the youngsters?
Next, the court will revisit its custody determination, depending upon the court’s ruling on which school district the children should attend school in.
Taking this approach to its logical conclusion,
Clearly a recipe for clogging Michigan’s family courts to the point of grinding to a halt. Not to mention turning Michigan’s kids lives upside down all over again … and again … and again.
Read more in this Detroit News article: Divorce judge to pick kids’ school.
An emerging question for a growing number of splitting couples may be the still novel question that recently faced a divorcing Texas couple:
Who gets their frozen embryos?
In that case, the Texas trial court awarded them to the Wife.
But the Husband appealed to an intermediate court and won.
Then the Texas Supreme Court ducked the case, so the Husband remains the “victor”.
But note: this couple had actually signed a form consenting to the embryos being “discarded” in the event of the couple’s divorce.
It’s impossible to say how much of a bearing that consent form played in the appellate court’s ruling, but it seems reasonable to infer it may have been significant, if not compelling.
Read more in this KLTV 7 [Texas] article: Texas Supreme Court refuses to hear custody battle.
An ex-cop is publicizing her anticipated forthcoming release of software she dubs Custody Calculations.
It is hyped as a cure for virtually everything that ails separating families and family courts nationwide.
In that respect, it sounds naive and simplistic but, of course, everyone will have to reserve judgment until the software actually materializes. Its debut appears to be running late.
More realistic is the software’s core promise of helping the courts to calculate and collect fines for contempt of family court orders and generate standardized orders on demand.
Custody Calculations contemplates tacking onto each contempt order an extra fine which would be paid to the court system for the court system, possibly to the magnitude of $50 million per state per year.
Sounds good, but that would have to be properly authorized …
New York City is contemplating banning smoking in a car in which there are minor children.
If it passes, New York won’t be the first place with such a ban. Similar bans already exist in Arkansas, Louisiana, Puerto Rico, Bangor, Me., and Rockland County, N.Y.
Transgressions would subject the violator to potentially hefty fines.
But that may not be the worst penalty.
In some states, family court judges may and have considered “smoker status” as a factor in child custody determinations. See my previous post, Smoking Cigarettes Has Gotten Terribly Costly: You Just May Lose Custody of Your Child.
And certain states have banned smoking in homes with foster children. Presumably, infractions could result in foster parents being dropped from the fostering program and their foster children being removed from their home.
Read more in this New York Times article: A Call to Ban Smoking in Cars (With Children).
In some divorce and custody cases, one powerful tool in a party’s arsenal is the surveillance video.
Historically, the world of private investigators has been a male-dominated bastion.
But perhaps no longer.
One woman PI in Austin is seeing her business boom - much of it with divorce and child custody- generated video surveillance work - for men.
While not inexpensive, there is just no denying that “a picture is worth a thousand words“.
And the right picture can be worth primary residential custody or big bucks, depending on the jurisdiction.
Read more in this KEYE TV Austin 42 news article: Woman’s Investigation Business Booms.
The New Jersey Supreme Court has ruled that a mother may return to Japan with their seven year old daughter against the father’s wishes. The US Supreme Court has declined to stay the ruling.
The father still plans to take an appeal to the US Supreme Court.
Japanese law is reputed not to be protective of visitation rights by the non-custodial parent. And the father fears he will be unable to enforce his US court orders against the mother once she is there.
New Jersey law is more accommodating of requests by custodial parents to relocate with minor children than some other states, including Florida. All the mother had to show in New Jersey was that she had a “good faith reason for the move” and “that the child will not suffer from it”.
The current law in Florida governing relocation is more stringent.
Read more in this Newsday article: U.S. Supreme Court declines to intervene in custody case.
Illinois is sponsoring an innovative housing program with a unique social mission.
The complex puts so-called kinship families (for example, grandparents raising grandchildren) as neighbors to young people aging out of foster care.
In addition to helping these two very different but often similarly economically disadvantaged groups with affordable housing, it also provides foster kids with positive role models.
It may also provide kinship families with assistance from young adults that they would not otherwise have.
Read more in this Chicago Tribune article: Different generations get place to call home.
A Massachusetts couple has the whole husband-wife spectrum covered.
He is a divorce attorney.
She is a minister and officiates at her fair share of weddings.
After a decade of marriage to each other, they appreciate the irony.
And they probably have accumulated a great deal of insight into which marriages fail and why.
Read more in this Cape Code Times article: Minister and divorce attorney counsel couples starting and ending marriages.
Husband dies of a gunshot wound inflicted on the side of the road. Wife is charged.
Murder trial.
First witness for prosecution: Divorce lawyer.
His testimony: Their prenup limits Wife’s take in event of a divorce to $250,000 plus half of jointly held assets, for an estimated total of approximately $1.5 million.
In event of Husband’s death, his estate would be about $6 million. Her inheritance, about $3 million.
Next key witness: Wife’s boyfriend.
His testimony: He shot the Husband, for which he pleaded guilty to stalking and a gun charge. Why did he do it? For half of her inheritance.
Read more in this [Cleveland] Plain Dealer Reporter article: Defense begins its case with divorce lawyer and this KDKA [Akron] CBS article: Tearful Donna Moonda Learns Jury’s Guilty Verdict.
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