Tips for Getting Through Your Divorce … and With Better Results

There really are a great many tips that divorce attorneys and other professionals can offer for “getting through” divorce.

Across the broad spectrum of surviving with both body and soul intact. And the equally broad spectrum of not losing your shirt / ensuring your ability to acquire a new shirt in the future.

And the perhaps even broader spectrum of promoting your children surviving your divorce without being manipulated like pawns, to facilitating that your children don’t miss a beat and continue to have positive, close relationships with both parents.

Such tips could fill a book – a large one. But a few basic tips actually cut across all aspects of divorce (and child custody cases too) and transcend any particular issues in any specific case, no matter how unique.

A colleague has spelled them out again, and they are well worth repeating, again. In some sense, the first bullet point below really covers it all.

1. Help your lawyer – Every case and couple is unique. Your lawyer is the expert on the law, and legal strategy and tactics. You are the expert on your ex, and the facts and circumstances of your family and case. You are the only one who can educate your lawyer on what he or she should know to help your case.

2. Arm your lawyer – Teach your lawyer about your family. Preferably in detail, in writing. Writing it down will encourage you to think carefully and be complete. It will also promote everyone on your legal team being fully informed. And it will do so at the least cost to you.

3. Prioritize – You’ve gone to the trouble and expense of hiring the best lawyer for your case. No, you aren’t done there. It’s still your case. You must be an active hands-on participant. And how fully you participate sends a message to everyone involved in your case. It can be a good message or a bad message. A message that says you really care – or are just trying not to be bothered / hurt too badly.

4. Keep your eye on the prize and adapt – Don’t indulge your emotions. Pick your battles. Pace yourself. Never lose sight of the forest for the trees.

5. Don’t be a stranger – Keep your attorney up-to-date. Touch base. It ain’t over until the last vocalist to sing sings.

I’ll toss in a couple of bonus tips of my own.

  • Don’t go to the other extreme and overdo it.
  • Stop and listen to your attorneys. If you are overloading your attorneys with information that they keep telling you is not helpful for one reason or another, let it go. People sometimes get bogged down in (usually emotional) stuff that, while understandably important to them, just isn’t legally relevant to “no fault” divorce in Florida. Most family court judges have no interest in – and little tolerance for hearing – why things went wrong in your relationship and which of you is the better person, etc.

Read more in this Huffington Post piece: 5 Tips To Help You Through Your Divorce.