Three years ago, a then 20 year old South Florida Man purchased a sledgehammer.

After his girlfriend (Woman), a then 19 year old aspiring dancer and singer, arrived, the Man bludgeoned her in the face and head over and over again.

The Woman survived, despite extensive brain injuries.

But now she has a mental age between 12 and 15 years old and spends her time watching children’s television.

The jury convicted the Man of first degree attempted murder after just half an hour of deliberating.

They were not persuaded by the insanity defense he put on.

The judge sentenced the Man to 99 years in prison.

He can’t be released from incarceration until after his 100th birthday.

Read more in this South Florida Sun Sentinel article: 99 years in prison for ex-boyfriend convicted of beating Broward woman with sledgehammer.

Equitable distribution or property division can be deceptive.

In Florida, and other states, the law presumes a fifty-fifty split of assets and debts.

But even where that is the agreed upon goal, the devil is in the details.

Some proposals can look like an even split right down to the penny.

Yet be anything but.

How so?

Thanks to taxes.

Taxes can have a significant impact on the ultimate value of certain assets.

By not taking the tax impact into account, a seemingly even split can turn decidedly unequal.

Tax credits, tax deductions, ordinary income taxes, capital gains taxes, etc., may eventually apply to transfer of any distributed marital asset.

To take an extreme example, suppose the wife receives all marital assets that will be subject to capital gains tax. Further suppose that the husband receives only assets that will not be subject to capital gains tax.

In that event, the husband’s fifty (50%) percent distribution of marital assets will in effect be worth more than the wife’s fifty (50%) percent distribution of marital assets.

So it’s important to be tax-aware in reviewing or presenting alternative distribution scenarios – or to have a tax professional involved in that process.

Read more in this Wall Street Journal article: Divvying Up? Check Taxes.

Domestic abuse conjures images of physical violence.

That is abuse.

But it’s far from the only form that domestic abuse takes.

Domestic abuse is, fundamentally, about power and control as much, if not more, than violence.

One way to maintain absolute power and control in a relationship is to hold the purse strings, all of them.

And so abusers may block their victim from getting or keeping a job (and paycheck) of their own.

Or run up debt behind their significant other’s back.

Or deny their victim access to “their” money.

That’s economic abuse, a form of domestic abuse.

It is one of the strongest holds that abusers have on their victims.

And it inflicts real anguish – and ultimate control – on its victims.

That is even more true in a weak economy, such as we have now.

A helpful resource for victims of economic abuse: Click to Empower Domestic Violence Survivors.

Read more in this Public News Service – Florida article: Study: Abusers Control Their Partners Through the Pocketbook.

In Pennsylvania, divorce rates have dropped by more than ten (10%) percent in the last decade or so. In some counties in the state, the decline was even sharper, as much as twenty-five (25%) percent.

Are we doing something very right to account for the reduction in divorces?

Well, yes and no.

The most likely reasons for it are:

• couples delaying marriage until they are older
• couples being generally more educated than ever when they marry
• premarital and marital counseling becoming more accepted and more common
• more testing of premarital couples, with trial cohabitation discouraging more mismatches and
• marriages are just plain fewer in number

Read more in this [PA] Morning Call article: Divorce rates fall as couples marry later.

In Brevard County, Florida, over half of the women killed by intimate partners had in the last three years turned to the police or the domestic violence courts for assistance, in the form of arrests or restraining orders.

In many of those cases, the abuse victim did not follow through, recanting or simply not appearing in court to testify.

Too often, such victims fall through the cracks.

Abusers can exert a powerful control over their victims, causing them to stay with their abuser year after year.

And, unfortunately, the most dangerous time for a victim can be the time when they do try to break away.

Read more in this [Brevard County] Florida Today article: Homicides can follow years of abuse.

Oregon Wife and Greek immigrant Husband marry.

Husband and Wife have Son.

Husband and Wife raise Son with awareness of his dual heritage.

Husband and Wife travel with Son to Greece for his baptism and when Husband’s father passes away.

In September of 2008, when Son is two years old, Husband takes Son to Greece to visit extended family for 3 weeks.

Wife cannot get time off from work.

Husband postpones the return trip, claiming Son has an earache.

Then Husband informs Wife that he and Son will not be returning.

Wife eventually finds out that Husband consulted a lawyer before he left Oregon …

That Husband had quit his job, sold his car, drained a bank account in just his separate name, and taken Son’s birth certificate.

Wife calls various authorities and finally hires a lawyer to help her bring an application for Son’s return to the US under the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction.

Eventually, the case goes to court in Greece. The Greek court awards Wife custody of Son and orders Husband to take Son back to the US.

Husband’s time to appeal has expired.

But Son remains in Greece.

Husband expresses concern about the missing child report Wife filed in Oregon, fearing his arrest.

Apparently the Greek courts provide no mechanism for enforcement of a custody order for return of a child.

In fact, Wife could be targeted by Greek law enforcement if she goes to Greece to try to bring Son back herself, without Husband’s written consent.

Read more in this Yamhill Valley [OR] News Register article: ‘I just want my son back’.

Wife files a petition for injunction for protection against domestic violence for a restraining order against Husband.

Husband is not yet served with order of protection against him.

Husband had moved out of marital home.

But was there one Saturday evening, trying to break in.

He succeeds.

Wife calls police. They arrive.

Husband locks himself in the house.

Husband shoots Wife.

Wife is taken to hospital, where she is expected to recover.

Husband is later found in the house, dead.

Although a police officer had shot at Husband, it is not believed that the bullets hit him.

Read more in this Orlando [FL] Sentinel article: Man found dead after shooting wife and barricading himself in house.

Adoption can be a complex legal process and a costly social process.

It can also be the answer to a couple’s prayers.

There are several types of adoptions:

1. domestic private, through an agency or direct
2. domestic foster care
3. international private
4. foreign or domestic special needs

Eachy type of adoption typically imposes different costs and expense, offers different potential tax benefits and other government support and follows a somewhat different process.

Read more in this Southgate [MI] News Herald article: Adopting a child can be a long, costly journey.

No matter what we as a society throw at it, domestic violence remains an intractable problem.

Impacting perhaps twenty-five percent of women in the US.

So the President is appointing a White House advisor on domestic violence.

The appointee is tasked with reaching across agencies to better coordinate governmental action.

The appointment comes as domestic violence is, despite our efforts to date, on the rise rather than a decline, presumably as a result of the stresses of the weak economy and high unemployment.

Read more in this New York Times editorial: An Advocate for Women.

Of course, not all victims of domestic violence are women…

As part of a series of articles about divorce, the Tampa Bay Examiner takes the opportunity to reprint one version of the Children’s Bill of Rights. There are many versions, that express similar sentiments in somewhat different ways.

Any version is worth every separating parent’s review:

1. The right to be treated as important human beings, with unique feelings, ideas and desires, and not as a source of argument between parents.
2. The right to a continuing relationship with both parents and the freedom to receive love from and express love for both.
3. The right to express love and affection for each parent without having to stifle that love because of fear of disapproval by the other parent.
4. The right to know that their parents’ decision to divorce is not their responsibility and that they will live with one parent and visit the other.
5. The right to continuing care and guidance from both parents.
6. The right to honest answers to questions about the changing family relationships.
7. The right to know and appreciate what is good in each parent without one parent degrading the other.
8. The right to have a relaxed, secure relationshp with both parents without being placed in a position to manipulate one parent against the other.
9. The right to have the custodial parent not undermine visitation by suggesting tempting alternatives or by threatening to withhold visitation as a punishment for the children’s wrongdoing.
10. The right to be able to experience regular and consistent visitation and the right to know the reason for cancelled visits.

Read more in this Tampa Bay [FL] Examiner article: Divorce and the children’s bill of rights.