New York State issues Amber Alert for two missing children based on Father’s allegation that Mother, a Texas woman, abducted them.

Mother is taken into custody in Virginia. Now she awaits extradition.

Problem is, the New York state prosecutor’s office has no proof other than Father’s word that Father has sole custody of the children.

Father produced an expired domestic violence restraining order, or order of protection, prohibiting contact between Mother and the children.

New York authorities have so far gotten no response from the Texas courts and the parties’ respective Texas attorneys regarding custody orders entered in Texas.

New York authorities may have to resort to serving the Texas courts with a court order to produce the documents.

All authorities know now is that a final judgment was entered in Texas.

For the moment, Mother is charged with custodial interference.

The charges could be expanded or gutted when the New York prosecutors receive the Texas custody orders. Father could potentially face charges as well, depending what the Texas orders provide.

Read more in this Utica [NY] Observer-Dispatch article: Local officials have one week to decide on extraditing suspect in abduction.

Long Island, New York law enforcement officers have been to Long Island Husband’s and Wife’s home several times over domestic complaints.

Wife obtains domestic violence restraining order against Husband. Husband is also charged with second degree harassment arising from the same events.

Wife asks court to lift the order of protection. Accordingly, the criminal charges are informally placed on hold.

Week following termination of the injunction for protection against domestic violence …

Husband stabs Wife to death.

Husband then cuts himself on the neck.

Husband defends that he killed Wife in self-defense.

Husband’s attorney characterizes Wife as violent and unstable, and asserts that she was the aggressor.

Husband is charged with second degree murder and confined in a psychiatric facility, under suicide watch.

Husband allegedly has a history of drunk driving.

Husband and Wife’s two children are in temporary physical custody of relatives of Husband.

Read more in this East Hampton [NY] Star article: Husband Disputes Charge. David Soto claims he acted in self-defense.

Contrary to what most people think, uncontested divorce doesn’t necessarily mean instant divorce or simple divorce.

In fact, it can often take quite a while before parties can come to agreement on all issues. And that is precisely what must happen before a divorce can be considered “uncontested”.

Even if a divorce is uncontested (which may simply mean that eventually it achieves uncontested status by virtue of reaching a settlement agreement), it still brings upheaval and change. But it should be less expensive and less acrimonious.

In addition to taking care of “legal business”, there are also financial affairs to untangle and take stock of, even in an uncontested divorce.

Consultation with a divorce financial analyst or other financial professional may be worthwhile step toward reaching a settlement … and toward preparing for the future as a single – or a single parent.

Read more in this Canadian Financial Post Magazine article: Family File.

New Jersey Mother and Father have Daughter.

Mother is deployed to Iraq for nearly a year.

Daughter is in Father’s care during Mother’s deployment.

Before Mother departs for Iraq, with the assistance of the military, Mother and Father devise a parenting plan for her return. Nothing goes through the courts though.

Mother returns.

Father denies Mother access to Daughter except for a few, short visits.

Father maintains that Daughter doesn’t really know Mother.

The military does nothing to enforce the parenting plan agreed to.

Now Mother and Father are going through the courts.

Each parents seeks sole custody of Daughter.

It has become commonplace for returning soldiers to find their custody or visitation whittled down. Returning mothers are experiencing this to an even greater degree than returning fathers.

Although there has been much lobbying for changes in law to prevent this from happening, remedial legislation has not gone as far as may be needed. The military has not pressed for more, not even enforcement authority for parenting plans.

Special statutes notwithstanding, deployment away from a one year old for an extended period of time poses challenges in protecting children’s interests and well-being that a family court judge cannot ignore.

Daughter cried upon Mother’s return.

A family court judge has given Father temporary residential custody of Daughter with provision for daily visits and weekly overnight visits to Mother.

Mother reports that she would oppose any threatened redeployment.

Read more in this New York Times article: Soldier’s Service Leads to a Custody Battle at Home and this New York Times article: After Iraq, the Battle at Home.

In theory, everyone wants an uncontested divorce. In reality, that may not be so easy to achieve.

The most common means to an uncontested divorce is a process called mediation.

Here in Palm Beach County, Florida, mediation is mandatory before trial. Even in counties where mediation is not mandatory, court-ordered mediation is routine.

So what is mediation?

Mediation is a negotiation, facilitated by a neutral mediator with training in amicable dispute resolution.

Mediation can save spouses money and hostility, and allows them the flexibility to fashion an outcome where each spouse can be happy with at least part of it. After a trial, a judge dictates the outcome to both spouses.

Mediation is most effective and most likely to result in an uncontested divorce where both spouses are relatively reasonable and realistic as to the range of likely outcomes at a trial.

In some circumstances, such as where there is a history of domestic violence, mediation goes best by assigning the spouses to different rooms and having the mediator travel between them. Slower, but safer and less inflammatory.

Read more in this Pioneer Press – Vernon Hills [IL] Review article: Mediators offer alternative approach to divorce