New York State issues Amber Alert for two missing children based on Father’s allegation that Mother, a Texas woman, abducted them.

Mother is taken into custody in Virginia. Now she awaits extradition.

Problem is, the New York state prosecutor’s office has no proof other than Father’s word that Father has sole custody of the children.

Father produced an expired domestic violence restraining order, or order of protection, prohibiting contact between Mother and the children.

New York authorities have so far gotten no response from the Texas courts and the parties’ respective Texas attorneys regarding custody orders entered in Texas.

New York authorities may have to resort to serving the Texas courts with a court order to produce the documents.

All authorities know now is that a final judgment was entered in Texas.

For the moment, Mother is charged with custodial interference.

The charges could be expanded or gutted when the New York prosecutors receive the Texas custody orders. Father could potentially face charges as well, depending what the Texas orders provide.

Read more in this Utica [NY] Observer-Dispatch article: Local officials have one week to decide on extraditing suspect in abduction.

Long Island, New York law enforcement officers have been to Long Island Husband’s and Wife’s home several times over domestic complaints.

Wife obtains domestic violence restraining order against Husband. Husband is also charged with second degree harassment arising from the same events.

Wife asks court to lift the order of protection. Accordingly, the criminal charges are informally placed on hold.

Week following termination of the injunction for protection against domestic violence …

Husband stabs Wife to death.

Husband then cuts himself on the neck.

Husband defends that he killed Wife in self-defense.

Husband’s attorney characterizes Wife as violent and unstable, and asserts that she was the aggressor.

Husband is charged with second degree murder and confined in a psychiatric facility, under suicide watch.

Husband allegedly has a history of drunk driving.

Husband and Wife’s two children are in temporary physical custody of relatives of Husband.

Read more in this East Hampton [NY] Star article: Husband Disputes Charge. David Soto claims he acted in self-defense.

Contrary to what most people think, uncontested divorce doesn’t necessarily mean instant divorce or simple divorce.

In fact, it can often take quite a while before parties can come to agreement on all issues. And that is precisely what must happen before a divorce can be considered “uncontested”.

Even if a divorce is uncontested (which may simply mean that eventually it achieves uncontested status by virtue of reaching a settlement agreement), it still brings upheaval and change. But it should be less expensive and less acrimonious.

In addition to taking care of “legal business”, there are also financial affairs to untangle and take stock of, even in an uncontested divorce.

Consultation with a divorce financial analyst or other financial professional may be worthwhile step toward reaching a settlement … and toward preparing for the future as a single – or a single parent.

Read more in this Canadian Financial Post Magazine article: Family File.

New Jersey Mother and Father have Daughter.

Mother is deployed to Iraq for nearly a year.

Daughter is in Father’s care during Mother’s deployment.

Before Mother departs for Iraq, with the assistance of the military, Mother and Father devise a parenting plan for her return. Nothing goes through the courts though.

Mother returns.

Father denies Mother access to Daughter except for a few, short visits.

Father maintains that Daughter doesn’t really know Mother.

The military does nothing to enforce the parenting plan agreed to.

Now Mother and Father are going through the courts.

Each parents seeks sole custody of Daughter.

It has become commonplace for returning soldiers to find their custody or visitation whittled down. Returning mothers are experiencing this to an even greater degree than returning fathers.

Although there has been much lobbying for changes in law to prevent this from happening, remedial legislation has not gone as far as may be needed. The military has not pressed for more, not even enforcement authority for parenting plans.

Special statutes notwithstanding, deployment away from a one year old for an extended period of time poses challenges in protecting children’s interests and well-being that a family court judge cannot ignore.

Daughter cried upon Mother’s return.

A family court judge has given Father temporary residential custody of Daughter with provision for daily visits and weekly overnight visits to Mother.

Mother reports that she would oppose any threatened redeployment.

Read more in this New York Times article: Soldier’s Service Leads to a Custody Battle at Home and this New York Times article: After Iraq, the Battle at Home.

In theory, everyone wants an uncontested divorce. In reality, that may not be so easy to achieve.

The most common means to an uncontested divorce is a process called mediation.

Here in Palm Beach County, Florida, mediation is mandatory before trial. Even in counties where mediation is not mandatory, court-ordered mediation is routine.

So what is mediation?

Mediation is a negotiation, facilitated by a neutral mediator with training in amicable dispute resolution.

Mediation can save spouses money and hostility, and allows them the flexibility to fashion an outcome where each spouse can be happy with at least part of it. After a trial, a judge dictates the outcome to both spouses.

Mediation is most effective and most likely to result in an uncontested divorce where both spouses are relatively reasonable and realistic as to the range of likely outcomes at a trial.

In some circumstances, such as where there is a history of domestic violence, mediation goes best by assigning the spouses to different rooms and having the mediator travel between them. Slower, but safer and less inflammatory.

Read more in this Pioneer Press – Vernon Hills [IL] Review article: Mediators offer alternative approach to divorce

Arkansas Man has a domestic violence restraining order (or order of protection) against him.

As is customary, the injunction for protection against domestic violence bars Man from keeping guns.

Man discovers neighbor’s dog on his property.

Neither Man nor his own dogs are afraid of the neighbor’s dog.

But Man allegedly shoots the neighbor’s dog anyway.

Man is arrested on two misdemeanor charges, one for cruelty to animals and one for violating an order of protection.

The odds are against the restraining order against Man being for the benefit of an animal.

Cruelty to animals is closely associated with domestic violence.

Read more in this [Mountain Home, AR] Baxter Bulletin article: Briarcliff man arrested for cruelty to animal after shooting dog.

A British college instructor (Father) hasn’t seen his Daughter in fourteen years.

Her Mother allegedly abducted her from the UK to Brazil at that time.

Brazil is a party to the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction.

But Brazil sometimes seems to follow the Convention only at its pleasure.

Brazilian authorities have reportedly told Father he is not welcome in Brazil.

Father is now appealing to the UK government to intervene with Brazil, but probably too late to do any good even under the Hague Convention. Daughter is now 17 years old.

Mother reportedly changed Daughter’s name as part of an improper adoption.

Read more in this Kent Online article: Lecturer vows to battle on over estranged Brazilian daughter.

Before it draws to a close, it should be noted that August is our national Child Support Enforcement Month.

Local and statewide child support enforcement agencies are celebrating their mission, their increasingly innovative and resourceful efforts to maximize collections of child support, their accomplishments and the contributions of parents.

Some getting tough collections tactics: withholding wages, publishing “most wanted” lists, roundups, liens, freezing assets, collecting lottery winnings, revoking drivers’ licenses and denial of applications for passports.

Read more in this Holyoke [CO] Enterprise article: Celebrating August as Child Support Enforcement Month and this Virginia Department of Social Services 2001 press release: Governor Gilmore proclaims Aug. as Child Support Enforcement Month in Virginia

A group of Michigan professionals are rallying around one particular path to an uncontested divorce. It’s called collaborative divorce.

In collaborative divorce, both spouses commit to pursuing an amicable resolution without the necessity of litigating.

Their methodology includes a team approach, with a lawyer for each spouse, mental health professionals, financial advisors, child experts, divorce coaches, etc.

A lot of folks. As many – or more – as in some litigated cases. But all unified in the goal of avoiding litigation.

Proponents of collaborative divorce maintain that it is less costly than other approaches to divorce.

One may reasonably question that premise, at least in certain cases, after considering the team roster.

But it definitely may be less emotionally costly and lead to better co-parenting relationships after the divorce.

The Michigan collaborative divorce group concedes that collaborative divorce may not be the best methodology in cases where there is a history of domestic violence, illness or mental health issues.

In reality, there are also other circumstances where collaborative divorce is likely not the most appropriate approach.

Collaborative divorce is certainly an approach worth considering under the right circumstances.

But collaborative divorce is just one approach to uncontested divorce in Florida and elsewhere. It is not the only approach to uncontested divorce.

If both spouses want to divorce amicably, without litigation, whether it is collaborative divorce or not, there is at least one approach to uncontested divorce that is right for them.

Read more in this Traverse City [MI] Record-Eagle article: Amicable Split: ‘Collaborative divorce’ offers fewer fights, costs.

Illinois Husband and Wife had been together for thirty years.

Wife’s Sister is a domestic violence victims’ advocate, who helps others to escape abusive relationships.

Wife and Husband were estranged, with a significant history of domestic violence reportedly behind them.

Sister advised Wife to seek an order of protection or restraining order against Husband.

Wife didn’t heed Sister’s warnings, and let Husband back into her home to visit other family members.

During one such visit, Husband allegedly murdered Wife. Then fled to his workplace, where he committed suicide.

Wife had sought an injunction for protection against domestic violence in 2006, and pressed criminal charges against Husband at that time as well.

But Wife did not follow through with either, presumably out of fear of possible consequences from Husband.

And so Sister’s fears came true.

Read more in this Chicago Tribune article: Couple in murder-suicide had history of violence, family says.