The National Parents Organization (NPO) has issued a “report card” on the fifty states in the USA in regard to their implementation of what they term “shared parenting”, which appears to be intended to refer to equal parenting and equal timesharing.

The grades weren’t very good. Not a single state “aced” it. All have significant, if not downright enormous room for improvement.

Alaska and Arizona were at the head of the class … with Bs.

New York and Rhode Island were at the bottom of the class … with Fs.

New Jersey didn’t fare much better, earning a D.

Florida made it into the average zone with a C.

The average grade nationwide is 1.63 out of a possible 4.0.

These poor grades explain why NPO reports that only seventeen (17%) percent of children of divorced or separated parents are awarded equal parenting and equal timesharing.

Yet studies suggest that children raised with shared parenting suffer less depression, anxiety, substance abuse, truancy, etc. than children who live primarily with one parent.

Read more in this

• USA Today new article: Report: States fail on shared parenting laws and
• the National Parents Organization: State-by-State Analysis Highlights Parental Inequality Across the Nation .

TV talk show host Wife and Husband decide to have a Baby using the services of a Surrogate with Husband’s sperm and a donor’s egg.

Husband, Wife and Surrogate enter 23 page contract under which Husband and Wife agree to pay Surrogate $25,000.

During Surrogate’s pregnancy, Husband and Wife become estranged, separate and ultimately divorce.

Surrogate is listed as mother on Baby’s birth certificate and as noncustodial parent in state records. Wife has had nothing to do with Surrogate or Baby since her estrangement from Husband.

Husband has custody of Baby and applied for low cost state subsidized health care coverage for Baby, who has a blood disorder.

After which California instituted a child support case against Surrogate.

Husband is suing Wife, apparently outside of the divorce proceedings, in an effort to have Wife bear responsibility for Baby’s support.

Read more in

1. this New York Daily News article: Sherri Shepherd’s surrogate speaks out for the first time: ‘How can she act like this baby is nonexistent’
2. this Fox New York TV news article: Surrogate says Sherri Shepherd refuses child
3. this interview: Sherri Shepherd’s Surrogate Says She’s Being Forced to Pay Child Support

A two month old Ohio baby has reportedly died of brutal “blunt impact injuries to the head, neck, body, arms and legs”, consistent with murder.

The injuries occurred while the baby was in the care of a babysitter / friend of longstanding acquaintance of the baby’s mother. The sitter reportedly fell asleep during this time.

The baby was reportedly in the sitter’s care to give its mother a rest.

The baby’s injuries were allegedly inflicted by the sitter’s eleven year old daughter, who has since been charged with murder. The girl is confined in a juvenile detention center.

The girl has been ordered to undergo a mental competency evaluation before the criminal case proceeds.

The babysitter and her daughter reportedly have no criminal history.

It is extremely rare for a child as young as this to be charged with murder, and it is unprecedented in this county.

Ohio law does not permit the girl to be charged as an adult.

This case is disturbing in more ways than one and raises many questions which one can only hope will be asked and answered as the investigation and prosecution go forward.

Read more in

• this IndyStar news article: Ohio girl, 11, charged with murder in 2-month-old’s death and
• this CBS News article – Coroner: Ohio infant died of blunt impacts to head, body .

Childhood obesity (like adult obesity) is rampant. Giving rise to and/or setting children up for serious related medical conditions. And forcing kids onto more and more chronic medications at young ages.

Government agencies are beginning to examine this financially and socially costly problem harder and harder, and from various angles, in the hope of making a dent in it.

The latest approach under consideration is to hit parents who are not part of the solution where it just may hurt them the most: their wallets.

The venue is Puerto Rico, where twenty-eight (28%) of children, nearly a third, are obese.

Some legislators there have introduced a bill intended to give parents incentive to play a more proactive role in being part of the solution, by encouraging healthier choices and lifestyles.

The “incentive” is avoidance of an $800 fine to parents whose obese children don’t lose weight within a generous time frame of six months to a year.

The bill sets up a legislative framework under which public schools flag apparent cases of childhood obesity, alert their parents, refer their family to a social worker and, last but not least, involve the health department.

The health department is charged with determining whether the childhood obesity is the result of lifestyle or a medical cause. If the conclusion is lifestyle, health department personnel would devise a diet and exercise program, and monitor compliance and progress via monthly home visits.

The family would be allowed up to a year to demonstrate progress before imposition of the fine.

Some members of The American Academy of Pediatrics’ Puerto Rico chapter reportedly have been critical of the bill.

At present, one can only speculate whether such legislation would in fact chip away at the problem.

Which may be viewed as a social problem. Certainly the infrastructure and mechanism contemplated here parallels that of child protective social services.

Read more in this Yahoo Parenting article from the Associated Press: Parents of Obese Kids Could Be Fined $800 if New Law Passes

It has long been touted as accepted wisdom that cohabiting outside of marriage ups the odds of divorce after marriage.

A recent study out of the University of North Carolina actually debunks this axiom – or rather qualifies it.

The study concludes that it is not so much the marital status as the age of the couple at the time of living together that impacts their odds of divorce after marriage.

More specifically, the study reports that couples who cohabit or marry at eighteen years old are more likely to divorce than not, suffering a sky high divorce rate of sixty (60%) percent.

In sharp contrast, couples who defer cohabiting or marrying by just five years improve their odds by half again, slashing their divorce rate to just thirty (30%) percent.

An astounding difference in marriage success / failure rates from ages eighteen to twenty-three.

The study does not appear to have inquired into differences, if any, arising from age differences between partners.

Nor whether deferring marriage or cohabitation by yet another five years, to age twenty-eight, would further improve the odds of a marriage going the distance.

Read more in this Business Insider article: Couples who live together before a certain age are twice as likely to get divorced

Divorces among seniors, the so-called “gray divorce”, has been on the uptake since 1990, actually doubling over the last quarter century.

The needs and concerns of that group of divorcing couples are generally very different from those of shorter marriages of younger couples with young children.

They prefer a more peaceful breakup and tend to take a more “bottom line” oriented approach to the typically greater assets they have accumulated over the years.

One of those assets, often given short shrift by younger couples, is pensions or pension rights.

While not liquid or readily marketable, pensions can have substantial value … if dealt with properly.

Pension division should be accomplished through a detailed QDRO or qualified domestic relations order.

It’s important to dig into all the relevant details, such as:

• When was the account first established?

• How much was earned after the wedding date?

• Are benefits fixed or variable?

• How are they calculated?

• What happens if the ex-spouse in title dies before the other ex-spouse?

• Who are the designated beneficiaries?

• Were there any prenuptial or postnuptial agreements?

• Etc., etc.

Though often overlooked or relegated to second tier status, the pension(s) may be the most significant marital assets and warrant careful attention.

Read more in this Chicago Tribute Business / Your Money column: How divorce after 50 may affect your retirement savings

Brooklyn, New York Mother and Father have toddler Son together.

Mother is a novelist, filmmaker and adjunct professor at a large university. Father is a corporate attorney in a successful internet media company.

Mother and Father separated and are now embroiled in a dramatic battle over custody and visitation of their Son, as well as alleged domestic violence.

Their disputes reportedly span three different Brooklyn courts, family court, domestic violence court and criminal court.

Mother has alleged that Father has tried to poison her with arsenic and other heavy metals; manipulate her into believing that she is losing her mind; and terrorized her with elaborately conceived schemes of her mutilation and death.

Noteworthy, lab reports allegedly corroborate that Mother’s blood contains abnormally high quantities of arsenic and that some prepared food supposedly purchased by Father contained unusually great concentrations of arsenic and heavy metals.

Nonetheless, Mother’s own father reportedly testified for Father, and the family court awarded custody of Son to Father.

Mother is continuing her campaign to regain custody of Son with, among other things, affidavits from famous friends who are of the opinion that she is a great mom. But her case is clouded by pending assault charges pressed against her by her own stepmother.

On the other hand, Father must also defend against domestic violence charges for allegedly attempting to choke Mother in her bed.

Read more in this New York Post article: Arsenic, cheating, murderous fantasies: Crazy claims in novelist’s breakup

Following up on my previous post, a fourteen year study confirmed 4 behaviors as predictors of divorce with an astonishing 93% rate of accuracy … based on a fifteen minute conversation.

These findings are actually consistent with those reported more anecdotally in my previous post.

The problematic behaviors are:

1. Stonewalling, which refers to suddenly disengaging in the midst of an argument and shifting to a different, unilateral activity

2. Holding & Treating Your Spouse with Contempt

3. Reacting with Personal Criticisms of Your Spouse Rather Than Their Particular Objectionable Action

4. Reacting Defensively to Situations

Read more in this Business Insider article: 4 behaviors are the most reliable predictors of divorce

The warning signs:

1. Cutting personal attacks have replaced communication

2. There’s been a breach of trust

3. There is limited physical contact

4. There is constant arguing or – literally – fighting

5. No sharing is taking place

6. The relationship takes a back seat to other relationships or priorities

7. There’s no friendship or involvement anymore

8. There is no empathy or compassion

9. They are past caring about improving things

Read more in this Prevention article: 9 Ways Therapists Can Tell If Your Relationship Won’t Work

Russian Father has custody of Child. Russian Mother is required to pay child support for Child.

Mother falls several thousand dollars behind in child support.

Russian family court designates Mother’s pig as an asset to be seized and sold to pay down Mother’s child support obligation if Mother does not pay her past due child support.

Mother apparently does not wish her child support arrears to be brought current.

So Mother, with some help from her friends, … eats the pig. It seemed like a clever option to Mother at the time.

Now, maybe not so much.

Mother is under arrest for embezzling seized property. Mother faces up to two years confinement in prison.

Read more in this Moscow Times article: Russian Woman Eats Her Pig to Avoid Paying Child Support