Chinese Wife invests US $100,000 in cosmetic surgery to improve her appearance.

Wife marries Husband, never revealing that she has had plastic surgery.

Wife gets pregnant and eventually delivers a healthy baby girl (Baby).

But Husband is not happy. Husband considers Baby to be ugly.

Husband suspects Wife of cheating on him, to produce such an ugly Baby.

In any event, Husband cannot accept Baby as his offspring.

Wife “confesses” to having had cosmetic surgery. But Husband is not appeased.

Husband sues Wife for divorce … and substantial monetary damages … for, apparently, being ugly and producing an ugly Baby.

And the Chinese family court rules in Husband’s favor, granting Husband a divorce, … and awarding Husband US $120,000 in damages.

The Chinese family court actually found that the Wife had induced Husband to marry her under false pretenses.

Read more in this MSN piece: Man sues wife, wins $120k after their ‘ugly’ baby is born and this Albany [NY] Times Union piece: Man divorces, sues wife for being ugly, and wins.

Every divorce is unique.

Take Florida Banker Husband and Wife. Husband and Wife have been married nearly 20 years, and they’ve had four Children together.

And then the Occupy Wall Street movement strikes a chord in Wife.

And Wife leaves Husband and Children behind in Florida, for New York City and the movement. Wife becomes a full-time volunteer “protester” in New York.

That was about a year ago. So Husband files for divorce.

It’s all very amicable though.

Although Wife apparently has not asked for any, Wife may have done herself out of alimony by acknowledging her expansive resume as “midwives assistant, roller-derby queen, rock star musician, activist, dreadlock princess, African-beekeeper, and organic vegan freak”.

Husband “gets” the home – and the kids. Wife walks away with roughly $85K as her share of the property division.

Their parenting plan allows Wife to visit their Children whenever she wants to – provided that “they want to see her” and that the visits take place in a “safe environment”.

An unusual provision in a settlement agreement. Not recommended, for more reasons than one. But that is another post.

Might either spouse have fared better by contesting their Florida divorce court case in a Florida family court?

It is quite possible that each spouse may “done better” on different aspects of their divorce by contesting their divorce court case in a Florida family court.

But, this way, each spouse has an inexpensive, quick uncontested divorce and, presumably, leaves the marriage with what is most important to them and with minimal angst.

Some people would consider that an enviable outcome.

Read more in this New York Post article: After ditching her family, Occupy mom snags $85K in divorce.

New Jersey Husband and Wife want children. But Wife is sterile.

So Husband and Wife arrange an anonymous egg donor and a surrogate mother to carry their Baby.

The surrogate mother waives her legal rights to their Baby in writing.

Finally, Husband’s and Wife’s Baby is born. Arrangements are made among the “players”, including the surrogate mother, for Husband and Wife to be listed as the parents on Baby’s birth certificate.

Only … the bureaucrats at the New Jersey Office of Vital Statistics won’t go along with listing Wife as Baby’s mother. They are fine with listing Husband as Baby’s father though.

Huh?! So say Husband and Wife. What is the problem?

Well, it turns out that the New Jersey statute governing surrogate births to sterile couples legislates that:

1. even if the would-be father is not the sperm donor, the would-be father will automatically be the surrogate birth child’s legal father

2. but if the would-be mother is not the egg donor, the would-be mother will not be the child’s legal mother; the would-be mother must legally adopt the surrogate birth child.

Based on that statute, the New Jersey Office of Vital Statistics fights listing Wife’s name as Baby’s mother on Baby’s birth certificate.

So, Husband and Wife counterstrike, challenging the statute as discriminatory and violating the constitutional principle of equal protection under the law.

But a New Jersey intermediate level appellate court disagrees with them, upholding the statute – and leaving the Wife in the position of having to adopt the now three year old Baby she and Husband have been rearing for three years.

The intermediate appellate court opines that, absent a legal adoption by the Wife, the Baby is biologically related only to the surrogate mother and the egg donor. And that any discrimination in the statute is adequately justified by physiological differences between mothers and fathers.

On appeal to the New Jersey Supreme Court, three of six justices agree with the lower appellate court … and three justices agree with Husband and Wife.

A “tie”. But, unlike in sports, this tie does not go to extra innings until a clear winner emerges.

Instead, here, the “tie” falls short of the majority required to reverse the intermediate appellate court. Leaving the lower appellate court’s ruling in effect.

Requiring the Wife to adopt her Baby.

Via a streamlined stepparent adoption though. Possible because the statute recognizes the Husband as the Baby’s legal father.

As may be apparent, New Jersey has yet to approve surrogacy contracts. This may go a long way toward explaining this outcome in the New Jersey Supreme Court.

Read more in

• this New England Cable News article: NJ court: Infertile men, women not treated same

• this NorthJersey.com article: Court upholds N.J. surrogate parent law

• this New York Times article: Court’s Split Decision Provides Little Clarity on Surrogacy

A study bears out what most of us probably know intuitively.

Doubts before the wedding, specifically about your intended, are an early warning system that doesn’t bode well for the success of the marriage.

At best, doubts foretell unions providing less satisfaction. At worst, doubts by women foreshadow a likelihood of divorce that is 2.5 times greater.

Among study participants, a whopping 47% of men and 38% of women admitted to premarital doubts. Interestingly though, women’s doubts were a more accurate indicator of future divorce.

Nineteen percent of doubting women who went through with their marriage were divorced four years later. Among women who did not harbor doubts, only 8% were.

Fourteen percent of doubting men who went through with their marriage were divorced four years later. Among men who did not harbor doubts, only 9% were.

In only 36% of couples did neither spouse suffer doubts though.

It should be noted that 6% of those marriages ended in divorce as well.

Read more in this USA Today article: Pre-marriage doubts signal unhappy unions, divorce.

Terms like “quickie divorce” can lead someone to think that divorce is quick and easy and inexpensive. And sometimes it is all three.

But divorce is often complex. Emotionally, legally and/or financially.

I sometimes hear from people who have been “trying” to get what they describe as an uncontested divorce … for years.

They blame the delay on lack of funds to pay for an uncontested divorce.

In South Florida, the filing fee to the county’s clerk of courts is $409.

It is at least possible that other delaying factors are at work …

On one spouse. Or both. Whether or not they recognize it. Or choose to admit it.

And so it begins to get complicated. Even before the law or costs ever enter the picture. In such cases, it will only get a lot more complicated after they do.

Whether to divorce is a purely personal decision. It may be facilitated by a therapist.

But once the decision is made, various professionals may be of assistance in actually getting the divorce.

Attorneys, of course.

Therapists, possibly.

Mediators, perhaps.

And, sometimes, what may be a hybrid of or bridge between the above professions: a divorce coach.

A divorce coach is still a relatively new profession. That really does not have one universally accepted definition. Or role. Or, for that matter, background and experience.

Sometimes a therapist, sometimes an attorney, sometimes both, sometimes neither.

At a high level, a divorce coach may help a spouse transition from an (unhappily) married person to a divorced person, a happily divorced person and/or a happily divorced person who is on a sound financial footing.

But the precise role of the divorce coach and scope or timeline for the divorce coach’s assistance varies from one divorcing spouse to another.

The divorce coach may be involved long before any divorce filing. They may be involved in reaching the decision to divorce. And in designing an overall life plan for transitioning successfully from married to divorced.

The divorce coach may also be involved in developing the legal strategy behind the divorce case. And the groundwork. Possibly before an attorney is ever hired.

A divorce coach may guide a spouse step by step through the legal process. Something that attorneys don’t always do. And clients don’t always want to pay legal fees for.

Or a divorce coach may guide a spouse step by step through the emotional component of the divorce. Or the financial aspects.

Or all of the above. And more.

A divorce coach may also guide a spouse step by step through the negotiation and settlement process in appropriate cases.

In some cases, some divorce coaches work with one spouse.

Some divorce coaches work with both spouses together. Facilitating an uncontested divorce.

Some divorce coaches will prepare the uncontested divorce paperwork for the couple.

Some divorce coaches will also represent the hiring spouse as counsel in a traditional divorce.

Of course, dispensing legal advice and / or providing legal representation require that the divorce coach also be a licensed attorney. Further, the roles and relationships must be made crystal clear to avoid conflicts of interest.

In appropriate cases, a divorce coach can be an invaluable partner (or team member) on the path to divorce.

For best results, it is important to consult a divorce coach early and together flesh out the role that you want your divorce coach to play in your divorce.

Read more in this Before It’s News article: Divorce Coaches: What Do They Do? Are They Worth It?

American Man and his gay Partner are a “couple”.

Partner is currently undocumented and his presence in the US is illegal.

Do Man and his Partner have anything to fear?

Technically, under the letter of the law, yes.

But under new enforcement policy guidelines just issued by the executive branch, practically speaking, perhaps not.

The current administration’s policy is not to deport undocumented immigrants who “pose no security risk”.

The new guidelines affirmatively approve treatment of long-term gay partners of American citizens as part of the group that policy is aimed at.

Ultimately, the new policy relegates deportation decisions to prosecutorial discretion … but authorizes consideration of contributions to the community and family relationships with Americans, including gay relationships.

Government spokespersons maintain that the new guidelines merely formalize established policy.

While the new guidelines may curtail deportations, they do not, however, confer visas or green cards – or improve gay partners of American citizens’ standing to obtain visas or green cards.

Still, they may provide peace of mind.

Even in failed heterosexual relationships involving an undocumented immigrant, threats of deportation or withdrawal of sponsorship typically surface quickly following a breakup.

Read more in this New York Times article: Same-Sex Couples Granted Protection in Deportations.

A recently published study finds a startlingly clear correlation between (suspected) child abuse, and mortgage delinquencies and home foreclosures across the US.

From 2000 through 2009, (suspected) child abuse resulting in hospital admissions climbed three percent and, more specifically, traumatic brain injury spiked by five percent per year for each one percent rise in mortgage delinquencies of 90 days.

These statistics are based on local economic data reported in the community of each of the thirty-eight hospitals participating in the study.

This trend of increasing (suspected) child abuse follows more than a decade of diminishing child abuse. Arguably because of a vigorous economy in those years.

The head researcher confirms from her own practice that stress contributes to the incidence of child abuse.

With so many families under social / relationship distress as well as economic distress, the conclusion of the study is that parents who need help coping should ask for it … and should be able to find it right in their community.

Read more in this HealthDay article via MedlinePlus: Child Abuse Rises When Economy Sags: Study and this NBC News Vitals piece: Study links child abuse to home foreclosures.

One of the largest costs in some complex divorce law court cases is forensic accountants who provide business valuations.

A study recommends five methods to control financial expert costs:

1. Avoid continuances, request / embrace judicial case management early for expert cost savings of 11% to 25%

2. Hire experts early to maximize their benefit

3. Narrow depositions and other expert discovery

4. Challenges to experts should be brought early

5. Opposing experts should communicate and cooperate

Some of the above recommendations are not currently permitted without appropriate authorizations of the recommendations.

Read more in this report cited in this BVWire article: Five ways to reduce the costs of financial experts, according to new AICPA FVS study.

These days, many, if not most folks are connected, technologically speaking, virtually (no pun intended) 24 x 7.

Not so when I began practicing law in the dark ages of 1988.

Back then, about the only piece of technology an actual lawyer was likely to lay their hands on was a fax machine. The primitive precursors to personal computers were just starting to be rolled out … to the secretarial pool.

Computerized legal research was in its infancy … and each of the two major players in the industry at that time had their own branded “pre-computer” terminal that did nothing but their own proprietary legal research. They were pretty darn big boxes too.

The legal profession as a whole has arrived relatively late to the technology party. But that has been starting to change – lately.

Although I still regularly encounter attorneys who openly, even proudly, admit (or inadvertently demonstrate) that they do not have the vaguest idea how to use a computer. Are Yahoos about Yahoo. Are utterly clueless about e-mail. Deny having a fax machine. Won’t carry a dumb cell phone, let alone a smartphone.

But all that may be about to change, at least here in Florida.

Effective the first of this month, Florida family lawyers are required to serve court papers upon opposing counsel via … e-mail.

A cosmic shift.

Tempered only by new rules that, in effect, deem delivery via e-mail to take as long as via postal (snail) mail (5 days). Presumably on the theory that newer, and perhaps less enthusiastic, adopters of e-mail technology may not check their e-mail more than once per work week. (Change doesn’t always come easy.)

Yes, unrepresented parties may choose to “opt in” to e-mail service too.

And just around the corner is mandatory electronic filing of Florida family court papers with the Florida family courts.

Another cosmic shift.

As these new procedures are implemented in Florida and other states, both our environment and clients will benefit significantly, in more ways than one.

But the transition may be a little rough along the way …

Florida Husband and Wife divorce after a long-term marriage of more than twenty years. They have a daughter, who is a minor and a son who is a legal adult.

Wife is unemployed during the marriage.

Husband is a network television news anchor and earns over $1 million per year. The family enjoys a high standard of living.

Of course, Wife seeks alimony and spousal support in the divorce. And the family court awards alimony, of course.

But Wife appeals her alimony and spousal support award as being too low. She cites two issues.

First, Husband chooses to pay their adult son’s living expenses and tuition for college. Over $50,000 per year.

The family court credits Husband’s payments for their son as alimony and spousal support to Wife.

Second, the family court discounts various expenses listed on Wife’s financial affidavit … although they are consistent with Wife’s spending history and well within Husband’s budget.

And, on appeal, the court reverses the family court’s holding regarding alimony and spousal support, and remands the case for further proceedings, specifically, consideration of the couple’s standard of living during their marriage and eliminating the credit for Husband’s voluntary payment of their adult son’s college expenses.

The appellate court also anticipates re-determination of Wife’s fee award based in part on the family court’s errors in calculation as well as reductions based on what it considered “unreasonable positions” taken by Wife. The appellate court disagreed with that characterization.

Read more of this high profile alimony case.