Buffalo, NY Wife works in sales at a Store in a large retail chain.

Wife and Husband are divorced. There is a history of domestic abuse.

Husband makes a threat against Wife’s life.

Upon Wife’s arrival at work the following day, Wife alerts Store security as to the threat.

Store Security rapidly develops a plan in case Husband comes to the Store.

Nonetheless, shortly thereafter, Wife is told to depart the Store and remain away until she secures a domestic violence restraining order of protection against Husband.

New York law prohibits discrimination in the workplace, including retaliation or harassment against domestic abuse victims.

Wife is in touch with the New York Attorney General’s office, and they initiate an investigation which culminates in action against the Store chain.

Store welcomes Wife back to work.

As part of its settlement with the state, Store agrees to provide education to all New York employees regarding the New York law prohibiting workplace discrimination against employees who are victims of domestic abuse.

Also as part of its settlement, Store amends its company policy barring victims of abuse from working in the absence of domestic violence restraining orders of protection.

Studies show that domestic violence victims all too often end up out of a job as a result of being a victim of abuse.

Studies further show that exclusion from their workplace creates economic and psychological stress, and may increase physical danger to victims of abuse.

Still, there may be circumstances where excluding a victim of domestic violence from the workplace may be lawful and appropriate.

Read more in

• this New York Times article: Settlement in New York Domestic Violence Case May Set Broader Precedent and
• this Buffalo News article: Bon-Ton settles discrimination claim with worker .

I previously posted on What Happens to Divorcing Couple’s Frozen Embryos May Turn on Fertility Clinic’s Waiting Room Consent Form .

Now a California family court trial judge has heard the case and ruled. And the divorcing couple’s frozen embryos will be destroyed.

Ultimately, the divorce court honored the agreement that each of the spouses signed with the fertility clinic, and followed where that led. And declined to place the Husband in the position of first becoming an unwilling father with his ex upon or after their divorce.

The family court may have attributed a greater degree of comprehension and accountability to the Wife as a medical doctor with professional experience of fertility clinics. But the divorce court’s ruling is consistent with much of the emerging case law in this arena.

Read more in this San Francisco Recorder article: Judge OKs Embryo Destruction in Bitter Divorce Case .

People know when they are unhappy. They don’t usually need anyone else to tell them they want a divorce … right now.

But people don’t often feel the same sense of conviction or urgency about many other things, such as executing their will, executing that designation of beneficiary on their insurance policy, etc.

They are busy. They procrastinate. What’s the big hurry anyway?

Truthfully, there may not be one. But do you really want to take that chance?

Forty year old Illinois Woman is in love and all is right with her world, including her minor Son and adult Daughter.

She is about to get married. She undoubtedly is not thinking of all the bad things that could happen at any time, but probably won’t.

Her beautiful wedding ceremony comes off without a hitch. Time to celebrate.

Woman and her groom drive off on his motorcycle to their wedding reception.

A deer comes at them and their motorcycle crashes. Woman is thrown off the motorcycle … and dies a short while later.

You just never know.

Do you really want to wait any longer?

Is your house in order?

If not, isn’t it time to finally get it in order?

To make sure your final wishes for yourself are known and carried out?

To make sure your loved ones are taken care of as you wanted?

Read more in this Inside Edition news article: Bride Dies in Motorcycle Crash on Way to Reception Minutes After Marrying New Husband .

Texas Mother has two Children, ages two and six years old.

Mother drives to Shopping Mall with Children to go on a job interview.

Mother takes Children to mall food court and feeds them lunch.

Then Mother heads to her job interview … leaving Children alone in the mall food court.

After Mother’s job interview, she returns to food court.

Police meet her there and arrest her for abandonment of Children.

The criminal charges against Mother are eventually dropped by law enforcement.

Children apparently are not removed from Mother’s custody by a child welfare agency.

It is unclear whether Children’s father is in the picture at all.

Even though the powers that be ultimately gave Mother a pass, an involved Father in a custody dispute with Mother surely could have had a field day with this incident.

Read more in this Insider Edition news article: Mom Who Left Kids in Food Court During Job Interview Insists: ‘I Love My Children’ .

Women who are not fertile when they are ready to become mothers may resort to donated eggs.

But not just any eggs. They are not all created equally.

Some egg donors boast a better pedigree than others, at least in the eyes of some prospective mothers.

And some of those mothers will pay a hefty premium to acquire those eggs over others.

How much? Tens of thousands dollars in some cases. One agency reports payment of as much as $50,000 and even $100,000 for eggs from a highly attractive and intelligent egg donor.

Some, including the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, are critical of what seems to tread perilously close to an auction to the highest bidder.

Others feel that the free market should control this like any other “transaction” people engage in.

Egg donors are mindful of the risks and inconvenience they incur in donating their eggs, including hormone treatments, and the time commitment required.

Some of them resent the disparity in pay and the lack of transparency. In an effort to fix some of these perceived problems, they are suing the organizations of clinics, as a class, claiming illegal price-fixing.

And at least one donor attributes her advanced cancer diagnosis to over-donating – out of ignorance allegedly resulting from nondisclosures by the clinics.

Would-be mothers often have lots of criteria once they decide to use donated eggs. Everything from anticipated resemblance to themselves, to good health, to intelligence, aesthetics, etc.

Read more in

1. this ABC News story: ‘Premier’ Donor Eggs Command High Prices for Desirable Genes
2. this New York Times piece: Egg Donors Challenge Pay Rates, Saying They Shortchange Women and
3. this New York Post article: ‘Being an egg donor gave me terminal cancer’ .

While so many people are preoccupied with getting a divorce and the costs associated with that, a whole lot of other folks battled long and hard for the right to marry. And so did their family law attorneys.

Two Jacksonville, Florida law firms were at it since February of 2014. Through trial and appeal in federal court here in Florida, on behalf of one gay couple living in northern Florida.

The co-counsels’ joint efforts ultimately prevailed in overcoming Florida’s ban on gay marriage. And for their labors, they are asking the Florida federal court to award their legal team over $457,000.

And they didn’t fight the fight alone. A second legal team downstate was also very active in the fight, on behalf of a gay man in here Palm Beach County.

The South Florida legal team, consisting of a private law firm and the American Civil Liberties Union, has not pursued its fees yet. While it is just conjecture at this point, it is probably not unreasonable to speculate that their legal work will tote up relatively similarly.

Not unpredictably, Florida’s state government is opposing.

So far, the various states’ collective legal fees to secure gay marriage rights top $10 million. And the numbers will only climb as additional law firm claims are advanced.

Read more in this Law.com article: Firms File for $457,219 in Fees for Florida Same-Sex Marriage Fight.

Marriage counselors and divorce attorneys tip off about about dangerous statements (or lack of same) in a marriage which could signal the beginning of the end of a marriage. They aren’t constructive, hurt the other’s feelings and may fuel anger and resentment.

“You’re being ridiculous”.

Such dismissal of a spouse’s sharing of their feelings discourages open communication and damages the bond.

“I don’t care anymore”.

Well, if true, where can the couple go from there?

“You never” …

This kind of overgeneralization is in essence just an attack.

“If you hadn’t” …, “I wouldn’t have to yell at you”.

Again, this is simply casting blame.

           Resounding silence.  

Not communicating doesn’t fix anything.

“I want a divorce”.

Again, this doesn’t leave much room for retreat or course change.

“I don’t need to tell you where I went”.

Do you have something to hide?

“Why can’t you be more like” …. ?

Comparisons to third parties are just pointless.

“I wish I never met you”.

Ouch.

If you want to try to improve your marriage, healthier communication is key. If you and your spouse need some help to achieve this, a marriage therapist may be able to help.

Read more in this Huffington Post piece: If Your Spouse Says These 9 Things, Your Marriage May Be In Trouble .

Husband and Wife marry and have two Children together.

Wife accumulates sizeable estate.

Husband reportedly improves his backgammon game.

Wife eventually has enough.

Wife obtains a purely religious divorce and a domestic violence restraining order of protection against Husband.

Wife schedules a meeting with her attorney to amend her will … to disinherit Husband to the extent allowed by law.

But Wife doesn’t make it to that meeting. The evening before, the forty-something Wife dies in her bathtub on New Year’s Eve of 2009.

Husband is the prime suspect, but police are unable to establish a solid legal case against him and decline to charge him.

Husband’s substantial inheritance is locked up in a trust though, release of funds in which are tied to the pressing criminal charges in Wife’s death or the passage of six years without charges being pressed.

With just two months left, Husband confides in his Girlfriend about the ill-gotten gains he will soon receive.

Girlfriend in turn reveals all to law enforcement authorities.

And Husband is finally charged with felony murder in Wife’s death.

And confined.

Read more in

1. this New York Post article: Man busted in wife’s killing told girlfriend what he’d done, sources say
2. this New York Daily News article: Husband of wealthy NYC mom found dead in bathtub pleads not guilty to murder charges in her 2009 death — just 2 months before he could claim her $4M fortune and
3. this New York Times article: Husband Charged in Wife’s 2009 Killing on Upper West Side .

No less an authority than Prevention magazine asserts that divorce affects your health … in eight different ways.

1. Anxiety
2. Drastic Weight Change
3. Metabolic Syndrome
4. Depression
5. Cardiovascular Disease
6. Substance Abuse
7. Insomnia
8. Chronic Health Problems & Mobility Issues

The article urges paying attention, and getting that annual physical to prevent progression.

Well, I have to say yes and no to the above.

Divorce may affect your health. In these ways and others.

Or even an informal separation that doesn’t require a court order.

So might feeling trapped in a miserable marriage.

Or being stuck in an abusive marriage.

And ditto all of the above regarding a romantic relationship that never culminated in marriage.

And probably the death of a spouse too

And maybe a big move – or job or career change.

Am I denying the association with divorce? Or trivializing these health issues?

Definitely not.

Indeed, if anything, based on my experience, I would prescribe an even more aggressively proactive strategy, both for purposes of an actual divorce or separation, and for the next phase of life.

More on even more aggressively proactive strategy in an upcoming post.

Read more on the above in this Prevention magazine article: 8 Surprising Ways Divorce Affects Your Health .

Single Illinois Mother has three Children and a Boyfriend, who is not their father.

Mother also has history of mental illness, largely untreated, and substance abuse.

Boyfriend has history of domestic violence and drug use.

Boyfriend allegedly drives Mother’s car into a lake … with Mother’s three Children in it.

Allegedly, neither Mother nor Boyfriend makes any move to rescue the Children.

Children drown.

Boyfriend is convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison.

Mother is convicted of child endangerment, but released from prison after five years.

Upon Mother’s release, she marries Husband.

And Mother and Husband have three more Kids together, now ranging from two to five years of age.

Husband has a history of domestic violence and drug use. Mother even sought an order of protection from Husband while she was pregnant with one of their Kids.

One of Mother’s physicians recognizes Mother and notifies the local child welfare agency of her situation.

At which point Mother’s three living Kids are taken into child protective custody.

At a juvenile dependency hearing, the Illinois family court finds evidence of abuse and neglect, despite a lack of visible current injury or physical harm. The Illinois family court further concludes that it need not wait until serious harm befalls the Kids to intervene on their behalf.

The Kids are left in child protective custody.

At subsequent hearings, the Illinois family court will determine whether the Kids remain in child protective custody or similar placement, and whether Mother and Husband’s parental rights to Kids should be terminated.

Read more in

• this AP news article: Judge rules against mom in legal fight for new family and
• this Chicago Tribune news article: Judge rules mother involved in kids’ drownings likely to abuse new family .